Did I miss hints that my crush was throwing at me or am I just reading too far into this???

Forums: Relationships, Cuddle, Hints, Confused, Crush
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So I was wondering what was supposed to happen between me (Female) and my crush (Female). Ive talked about her before in previous posts and I think she may like me (for now at least, I've been kinda waiting for awhile and holding on to my feelings because I'm kinda scared (I hope it's not too late)). I know she is pansexual so she likes girls. I'm not good at reading people and it's hard for me to know what someone is thinking especially her because I'm not a touchy kind of person, or if I'm even" allowed" to touch her, she always initiates contact. But my question is did I miss my chance/opportunity to see if she likes me back? So we have slept over at our friends house a few times, and it was: our friend in her bed and me and my crush on the floor together. The first few nights she rested her head on my shoulder and fell asleep (like physically on top of my shoulder near my neck) and cuddled me and even put her knee halfway over my legs. But the last time she didn't, she put her head on me for a couple mins but then stayed on the other side for most of the time and in the morning she didn't say much and talked in the whisper thing she does when she doesn't want to talk and when her dad came to pick her up she left really fast and had everything ready and gone in 10 seconds. (To be fair I didn't talk much either because We stayed up late and I felt that she didn't really want to be close to me the day before or that morning, which is weird for us). Is it because I missed my chance to do something like kiss her?? Was she throwing hints that I missed or am I looking too far into this (which is completely possible)???

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[+3] - jespah - 07/13/2016Nah, you're just like most teens and young adults. How about asking, "Does this mean what I think it does?"

I don't know the answer but it did strike me as funny that 'back in my day' taking someone's hand would be a clear sign of affection but now these more overt actions can be misunderstood or missed.

One more sign I'm get'n old Smile

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@Unknown17,

Is there a reason you're not asking her about her behaviours?

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

For one I don't want it to get awkward by me asking. And I guess the biggest one is I have no idea how to go about asking her like "why did you do that" or "what were you thinking when you did that" or even "do you actually like me as more of a friend" because I get awkward and cannot ask serious questions. I'm a weird person I guess.

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@Unknown17,

Nah, you're just like most teens and young adults.

How about asking, "Does this mean what I think it does?"

1 Reply

@Unknown17,

If you don't ask her, you'll probably never find out what's going on.

It's normal to be nervous about asking people about what they are doing and what their intentions are.

Her behaviour is what appears to be slightly outside the norm.

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@Unknown17,

Do you just freeze up when she does something like put her head on your shoulder? If so, you are sending the opposite message than the one you want.
Couldn't you just innocently put your free hand on her shoulder when she does to see how she reacts?

1 Reply

@Leadfoot,

I don't really freeze up I just don't do anything, sometimes I'll adjust myself so she can be more comfortable but when she puts head on me I just simply stay there. Sometimes I put the side of my face/chin gently on her head and she usually seems to be fine with it.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Well I would but I feel like it's kinda become the normal now not that's it's normal but it happens and we are both aware of it happening already and if I ask her that then she'll become confused and/or stop doing it. And I don't want to freak her out and then I get freaked out because I'm terrible at explaining things and she is a very "I don't know" kind of person. So we would just sit there saying I don't know back and forth and eventually laugh about how stupid the conversation was.

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@Unknown17,

Quote:

I don't really freeze up I just don't do anything

Be a little bolder. Nothing can feel like rejection.

1 Reply

@Leadfoot,

Ok I'll try being a little bolder, if I didn't already blow it.

1 Reply

@Unknown17,

Good luck Unknown, and remember to learn everything you can from the experience, And don't go into your shell, even if it ends up hurting.

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@Unknown17,

Well I think I already blew it, our conversations have just been small talk kind of things. And not very fun, and the mood or something has changed like its a lot of effort to text, it's weird. I wanted to take her to a drive in movie to help or something because she has said she wanted to go to one but of course my car is at the repair shop and won't be fixed for atleast a week. This absolutely sucks

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@Unknown17,

So idk if anyone will get this, if anyone remembers this post or even still cares but I screwed up. We probably won't ever get back to what we were before especially because it's been so long. I suck at life and obviously I'm not very smart or something but I definitely messed up bad. We are still friends but it's not the same and I feel faint kind of hostility when she is around me and a certain venom to her words that's not enough for me to say much about it to her and most people wouldn't notice. But there it is I made a colossal mistake and I guess I just have to live with it.

1 Reply

@Unknown17,

Unknown17 wrote:

So idk if anyone will get this, if anyone remembers this post or even still cares but I screwed up. We probably won't ever get back to what we were before especially because it's been so long. I suck at life and obviously I'm not very smart or something but I definitely messed up bad. We are still friends but it's not the same and I feel faint kind of hostility when she is around me and a certain venom to her words that's not enough for me to say much about it to her and most people wouldn't notice. But there it is I made a colossal mistake and I guess I just have to live with it.

Hold on a second. If you are still talking to her but your conversations are rough, it doesnt mean you cant fix it.

I might not have the whole story but perhaps shes trying to distance herself from you because you havent reciprocated? Maybe she feels you arent interested in her?

Did you ask her out to the movie? Curious of how you think you blew it. Im holding out hope for you. Its only too late when the person says they dont want anything to do with you.

2 Replies

@Krumple,

Well we have 3 classes together and sit next to eachother in each and we (and another friend) go off campus for lunch. We still kind of talk at school but we don't text anymore and she doesn't hold conversations very well anymore, it's like she isn't trying like she used to. I have asked her many times to hangout outside of school since I posted this but she turned down %90 of them. She isn't super sweet to me anymore and doesn't like contact. I think I screwed up because I never confronted this subject with her and things just happened wrong and I felt like I couldn't change them. (And not to mention she's been talking to a girl named Caitlyn lately, I don't know what that's about but I don't like the way she talks about her but she doesn't bring her up as often anymore)

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@Krumple,

It's the worst feeling ever and it's my fault.

1 Reply

@Unknown17,

Unknown17 wrote:

It's the worst feeling ever and it's my fault.

Dont be so hard yourself. I know you like this girl but she sounds a little fickle. Who knows, you coulda ended up dating to have her chasing the next new girl a week later. It sounds like shes in love with the idea but doesnt want any more than that.

Maybe shes not right for you and this us life just letting you know. It hurts but not a bad thing. I say carry on, work on your comfort in reciprocating your feelings when its right there infront of you. Use your experience of this situation to push yourself to find the relationship thats good for you. Its hard I know but its best.

You'll look back if you do and see it. Hard to see it now but just hang in there. There is a girl out there perfect for you, just have to find her.

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Did I miss hints that my crush was throwing at me or am I just reading too far into this???

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