Can someone please check my grammar?

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My grammar is absolutely terrible. Could someone please review this for me?

"Every month an athlete is selected for ‘Zico Coconut Water Athlete of the Month’ honors. We believe that Hunter Livingston best exemplifies what Bommarito Performance Systems is all about! Dedication, hard work, and commitment to the program.
After his senior season of football at Tarvella High School, where he was named First Team All-County, Hunter wanted to prepare himself for his freshman season at Florida Tech and has been consistently coming in and giving his all each session. His work ethic and attention to detail speaks for itself as he made improvements across the board! We are proud to have him as a representative of the BPS Family!"

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 874 • Replies: 16

[+3] - izzythepush - 05/28/2016[quote="bbynes"] We believe that Hunter Livingston best exemplifies what Bommarito Performance Systems is all about! Dedication, hard work, and commitment to the program. [/quote] In...

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@bbynes,

Your grammar is fine, BB

Just one thing: Not sure how Hunter comes in

1 Reply

@dalehileman,

Why thank you BB

0 Replies

Sure sounds like the sun shines out of this guy's ass.

1 Reply

@bbynes,

bbynes wrote:

His work ethic and attention to detail speaks for itself...

Out of pure curiosity, what do you think, fellow grammarians, of the quoted sentence?

2 Replies

@timur,

Quote:

the quoted sentence

Forgive me Tim but which one

0 Replies

@Tes yeux noirs,

Quote:

this guy's ass

Forgive me Tes but which one

1 Reply

@dalehileman,

How many asses can a man have?

1 Reply

@Tes yeux noirs,

No no Tes, sorry, it's
which guy not which ass

1 Reply

@dalehileman,

The Coconut Water Athlete Of The Month

1 Reply

@timur,

timur wrote:

bbynes wrote:
His work ethic and attention to detail speaks for itself...

Out of pure curiosity, what do you think, fellow grammarians, of the quoted sentence?

Good catch. It can be better written, "his work ethic and attention to detail speak for themselves."

1 Reply

@Tes yeux noirs,

Quote:

Coconut Water Athlete

Actually the effect of the oil is much more pronounced, might require mutiple asses

0 Replies

@InfraBlue,

InfraBlue wrote:

timur wrote:

bbynes wrote:
His work ethic and attention to detail speaks for itself...

Out of pure curiosity, what do you think, fellow grammarians, of the quoted sentence?

Good catch. It can be better written, "his work ethic and attention to detail speak for themselves."

Thank you, Infrablue.

I just wanted the confirmation that A2K is not yet overwhelmed by some superficial, chaotic knowledge of people that would be better enjoying their garden.

0 Replies

@bbynes,

bbynes wrote:

We believe that Hunter Livingston best exemplifies what Bommarito Performance Systems is all about! Dedication, hard work, and commitment to the program.

In this form of writing, ( I assume it's for a brochure or a prospectus of some sort, ) I would avoid using the exclamation mark.

Going with the rule that a sentence makes sense on its own I would change the punctuation. "Dedication, hard work, and commitment to the program." is not a sentence in its own right because it doesn't make sense on its own. I'd write it like this.

We believe that Hunter Livingston best exemplifies what Bommarito Performance Systems is all about; dedication, hard work, and commitment to the program.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Suggest a full colon after 'about', since a list is being introduced.

2 Replies

@Tes yeux noirs,

I agree with Tes on this one.

0 Replies

NSFW (view)

@Tes yeux noirs,

I thought that as well, but I didn't think it seemed listy enough so I went for the semi. On reflection you're absolutely correct. I also toyed with a comma or an emoji of a vulture fisting Eric Pickles.

0 Replies

Can someone please check my grammar?

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