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Do I have a right to be upset or have been scared from this situation?

 
 
Reply Wed 25 May, 2016 11:04 pm
I recently went away with a friend to a place that does not have a reputation to being very safe. We went out one evening and had a few drinks. My friend made friend with a few guys who worked at the bar and was adamant on going home with them. I did not want to leave her alone so said I would go with her. There was not enough room in the car for us all so we needed to take a taxi. my friend would not come in the taxi with me and would only go in the car with the guys, when I asked to go in the car with her, I was told there was not enough room so I just went in the taxi and two guys joined me in the taxi as they were friends with the other guys.
After being in the taxi a bit we arrived at this really sketchy looking place. I asked them where we were and they said just a motel and my friend and theirs would be in one of the rooms upstairs. I was dumb enough to go up and see and when i got upstairs they weren't there. I asked where they were and they said my friend said that she wanted to be alone with the other guys and they'd join us later. We were now in this really dodgy motel and i didnt really feel comfortable. I said i wanted to go and see my friend and the one guy then came and started rubbing my arm and getting close to me saying it will be fine and she will come soon. I kind of pushed him away from me because i didn't feel comfortable with him rubbing against me and then i said i want to see my friend immediately and then all of a sudden the other guy said he would call her and tell his friends to come here but he stood up and then grab me around my hips and was kind of holding my hips and the other guy rubbing on my arm and stuff again. I then freaked out and ran out of the motel. I was so scared as they were so close to me and we were in a sketchy motel, just me and two guys and i thought they were going to rape me.
I could not stop crying and ran into the middle of a random street. I keep crying and its been two days later. I was really scared and really thought they'd rape me if I didn't leave. When i left the room I called my dad telling him i felt as if these two guys were going to rape me (did not say they did as they did not) but I am afraid since they didn't rape me if i have any right to be upset about the situation. Can i say that i get these two guys were going to rape me if i am not sure they would have raped me if i stayed, I just got very scared and did not feel safe at all and really felt if i stayed something would have happened but i can't be sure as i just ran out of the room and left. Now i am still upset about what happened but i don't know if i have a right to be since nothing did happen to me.
 
Debra Law
 
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Reply Wed 25 May, 2016 11:22 pm
It was a dangerous situation and you were acting in your own best interests when you fled. You already sensed at a gut level that leaving the bar and going with strangers was not wise. Trust your gut in the future and avoid situations that could lead to harm. Better safe than sorry. I know that's a cliché, but it's true.
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jespah
 
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Reply Thu 26 May, 2016 05:53 am
@pizzalover96,
You did a smart thing getting out of there fast.

The best sexual assaults (there's a contradiction in terms) are the ones that never happen. You may or may not have prevented one, but the outcome was the same - you were unaffected.

To add, your friend sounds clueless. She is presumably a big girl and perhaps the thing to do is to tell her you are no longer going to save her from herself. Then maybe hang out with other people. Your personal safety has got to come first, and if she is too stupid to figure out that her own personal safety matters, well, you are not responsible for her.
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