Giving up hope

I was in a relationship with a drug addict and alcoholic for two years. I was in this relationship for two years because I was abused, and I had a baby, and I was scared to do anything. I was financially tethered to this person. I finally started counseling, and left him. I've been taking care of our son who is now 2 on my own with zero support from the Father. In fact, he moved multiple states away. One week before my custody trial he decides to hire a lawyer and contest custody. I have a decade long file of his thefts, drug arrests, DUI's, recent probation violation, testimony, and multiple recordings in which he admits to driving my infant son around drunk and high, admits he cheated on probation drug tests, doesn't think marijuana is a big deal, etc. He moved to AZ where he can get marijuana legally. He doesn't work, yet finds money for weed and an attorney and can't help his son. So you would this case is a no brainer. Yet, in pre-trial my "progressive" judge said he believes in second chances. My ex goes through detox symptoms if he doesn't have a drink or smoke within 2 days, judge wants my kid there for two weeks per year. I said NO WAY and asked for a trial. My exes attorney is making me look like the bad person by repeatedly asking me how I think one hour supervised visitation is meaningful contact. All I can say is, my ex chose to move very far away for marijuana. She then asks me how I think it is reasonable for my ex to pay for travel expenses. He wants to get out of child support because he says he will have to pay for travel. The judge didn't admit half of his criminal record into the trial. My attorney says they can't enforce mandatory drug testing into the agreement because my ex lives out of state. I can't take this anymore. I feel like the legal system doesn't take abuse or mental illness or addiction seriously. The judge is going to put my son in harms way and I'm just going to have to deal with it? I feel like my attorney sucks. I've paid 10K for what? He wasn't prepared at all for my ex to show up. He didn't have his criminal records ready to go. His questioning sucked. I just want to give up. I think I'm just going to have to accept the law doesn't give a **** about keeping innocent children safe and I'm very depressed. It's like I'm already planning for a dreaded phone call in the future. My ex landed himself in the ICU multiple times from overdoses, documented. This whole thing is ridiculous. I read stories online from women who made up that their husband was abusive and an alcoholic and they got full custody. I have evidence my ex had issues for TEN YEARS and he's getting joint physical custody? I tried calling other lawyers, nobody wants to take a case halfway through trial and I have like 5K tops I can spend additionally on this. I wish I just would have went to mediation and saved myself the money, because the law just doesn't care. At least not in Jackson county MO! I'm a square, not one charge in my life, graduate educated medical professional and clearly the "fit" parent. I'm so depressed and sad for my son, he's going to suffer for sure emotionally and mentally (I can fix that) but I won't be able to fix him if my ex is in a wreck, or leaves him screaming crying in a hot room all night, or lets him around marijuana smoke, or he gets into things he shouldn't because Dad is too busy getting high. Sometimes I think I should have terminated the pregnancy or done adoption, I had no idea that the courts would give an addict felon custody. What can I do? Call CPS when my child is in Arizona and hope they find marijuana in the house? What piece of the puzzle am I missing here? Someone please help me, what can I do to protect my son from his "sperm donor"