Has my Marriage run its course?

Hi everyone. Where to start... This will be a lot to take on board but I need all the advice I can get weather it be good or bad. It's all quite overwhelming for me and very difficult to open up about it all. I'd rather not be judged but it happens so fire away if need be! Ok, so. I've been with my Husband 6 years, married for 3. We've had a lot of ups and downs and he became quite controlling in the sense that he would argue with me if I wanted a girls night out or to buy a new pair of shoes etc. He would inspect the house after work to make sure I'd done all the chores (I'm a full time mum) and if there was ever a day I didn't feel well and didn't do much he was always mardy about it and would argue with me. Now this is no excuse for my actions for the way he treated me but I became very unhappy, and instead of trying to talk to him I bottled it up for months and I ended up cheating on him. I told him, he forgave me, things moved on. Some years later I became unhappy again for a number of reasons, I changed he didn't sort of thing. Well last year it was the last straw, I left. Got my own house, we separated for 6 months and found ourselves back together again. He forgave me for leaving/cheating and we were happy again. I gave up my house to move back in with him. I stopped smoking which he never liked either baring in mind I smoked when we first met. I stopped going out with friends, I put all my time and energy into him! I still do now. But this is my problem... For the last 2 rocky years he became very close with a woman at work. She has a partner and young child but it got to the point where everything we did he had to invite her! He spoke about her all the time and txt her very often. Their friendship was too close for my liking, so all I asked of him was to just back away a little bit, include her a little less in our lives. But he hesitated, like she was more important than me. Then it got to the point where I made him choose me or her. He hesitated again, then chose me, 3 days later he changed his mind and said he couldn't choose. So I told him it was the end of us because i couldn't face feeling second best. He eventually agreed but I found out 2 months later that he continued their friendship in secret, secret txts and deleting them. He met with her for a coffee behind my back. I know I cheated in the past but he forgave that and I changed my ways completely for him, cleaned the slate. But he hasn't and he has still betrayed and lied to me which hurts just as much as cheating! He might as well have cheated on me because it hurts that much. I have nothing left, I've done everything he's asked but he's going the opposite way like he wants to destroy us! I feel like he's more bothered about his friend of 2 years than his wife of 6! If he had never had gone behind my back to be friends with her I would have eventually come to terms with their friendship but now I just cant. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong at all. But all his other friends don't even know they went behind my back and I don't think they would be happy about it either. I don't know what to do! I know I made a lot of mistakes but I fixed them. He keeps trying to talk me into letting them be close friends again. We have a lot of BBQ's in the summer and he said yesterday he wants her there, to which I replied 'if she's there I'm out' and he said 'what, for the day?' like he didn't give a damn if I was there at our own house at our own BBQ as long as she is there! What do I do? I've sacrificed so much for him and I feel trapped and lost.