I think my barber may be low-key attracted to me.

I think you're reading way, way, way too much into it.

My hairdresser looks at my ass when I get up, too. Know why she, a straight woman, does that to me, another straight woman?

'Cause she's making sure there isn't any stray hair on my back and she will brush it off before I leave the salon.

Understand that service personnel get an enormous platonic benefit from small talk. It's called better tips and more loyal customers.

I totally agree with jespah...I think he is just making polite small talk. I am a ex-bartender and I would do it with all of my customers just to gain customers and many times, pleasant behavior also garnered great tips for me and the other bartenders as well.

Now...if he had done like a barber that I used to go to then I would understand why you have the concerns you do. I remember this barber who was really good looking and very straight ...well..at least I thought...but he knew I was gay because he was friends with my ex boyfriend's brother. While sitting in his chair getting my haircut, his crotch rubbed up against my elbow which was situated on the arm of the chair. Once I realized where my elbow was, I immediately made the attempt to move it. However, once I did the first time, he kept rubbing his crotch up against it. When I looked in his direction, his eyes told me that he liked it. Therefore, every time I would go to the shop to get my hair cut, he made it known to the other barbers that I was his customer. It had gotten to the point where he would wear a mid length barber top and unbuttoned the last few buttons in order for my hand to go up and massaged and fondle his crotch which made him erect and moan softly a lot. There were times he would even ejaculate in his pants. He started asking me to come in way early as opposed to the actual time the shop would open daily for business.

During those early times, he would take me to the back room where he would want to grind up against me naked and kiss me deeply. He loved to perform frottage with me as well. One day, the shop was really busy and I had somewhere to be that I could not wait all day for him. So, I let another barber cut my hair. This pissed him off to no end. The sharp glares that he was giving me were very intense. The next time I went, he grabbed me and pushed me up against the backroom wall and with his finger pointed in my face...he informed me to never let another barber take care of me because it made him jealous. I told him if he ever put his hands on me again, I will tell the owner about him being down low and what we do in the backroom. He immediately became paranoid. This is when I told him off and stop going in there altogether. Now...if anything similar to this happened to you...then...you have concerns...haha

I might be wrong here, but I think he might be considering inviting you to a boat ride and then tossing you overboard when you least expect it. Barbers are very unpredictable and I would avoid them like the plague.

What about Barbars?

I mean like those elephants who wear those little crowns. I always feel like they're surreptitiously looking at me

Oh wait, those are Babars.

Nevermind.

And along those lines, what about Babar Ghauri and his outrageous tweet, "Pakistan Zindabad". I have never, ever , been so outraged.