Slappy opened some old wounds when he wrote:
Ever since the gerbil incident of '94, Gus has way too much time on his hands.
For those of you who don't remember: The summer of '94 I spotted an attractive-looking gerbil when I was in the park feeding the ducks.
The gerbil was on the beach, on a small gerbil blanket, presumably sunbathing. I approached her and cleared my throat, preparing to ask her for a night of anal frivolity.
That's when Richard Gere appeared.
"I saw her first" Gere exclaimed in a menacing tone.
We circled each other warily, rolling up our shirtsleeves as we did so. When the dust settled I was unconscious on the ground.
Whe I regained consciousness, I looked up to see the gerbil getting into Richard's fancy red sportscar. They sped off into the distance.
Richard got all the headlines because of that gerbil.
And the world forgot about Gus.
Just another small traged in my life.