Seperation phase of divorce

My spouse and i decided to try and work things out in our marruage. We have two girls and a boy. Ages 3-9. We went through 8 months of seperation, two thousand miles apart and i decide to quit my job to move try it again. I read online most people when seperated find other partners or already jave one as a way to deal with the divorce process. I dosagree and eventhough i went out with my buddies never really had an opportunity come my way, not really looking either. So im thinkng thats not yhe case for my other half as she is raising thtee youngstrrs on her own.
So i show up . move in. And things seem pretty good for the first couple weeks. Then different dudes stary popping up. I asked jer when i first showed up to please tell me if there was any loose ends wirh guys she may have dated and to please clean them up. She told me about one particular guy. She swore they wrre just griends tried sex but he wasnt what she was into nut everything else was there. Ok. I asked jer since it was sexual and i found out they wete seeing eachother for five months n the kids knew him he was around pretty frewuently. He often spent nights over eventhough his place is 6 blocks away. Got that info from the kids. Nice. I think great replacement dad. Then i start thinking what does a guy, who is 7yrs younger than my spouse want with three kids. Its alot to take on.
Plus when i learned the age difference, he's 31. That got me really wondering.
Anyway my spouse hid the affair for awhile but then the pressure got on n she startted blaming ne fir things out of the blue. Weird. Guess she firgot how long we were together n how well i knew her.
Ultimately the lies came on n she wanted me out. My unemployment claim exhausted she was done. The sex was always good between us. That saved me for awhile. No money no job not good. I was waiting c how it was going to b before i settled down into work again.
Afyer about two weeks the arguemdnts n hatred just got yo be overbearing to the piint where she took thw kids - n stated at her moms untili had could fond a place to go.
Guess now what. Everything comes out on the surface about this dude. In about a weelk or sp it juat fot to be obvious. So crazy she went to the extreme of gerting a restraining order against me to get ne out of her house. And telling me she woulddismiss her interest in it if i moved out of the coynty far away. Oj gyys red flag. Mither in law lijes dude. Enough ro cover yhe lies and manipulate just cause for the RO.
So. Im not happyvabout dude n her at all. Hes giving her money....takin her out etc.
On dudes 32 birthday she goes out to din er with him. ..just the two of them n ends up back at her house...kids at sitter all night. I still had some bags to pik up but was T mercy of violating yhe RO. So i asked her to come over she saus ok. I sjow ip. Front diie locked. Dude opens up n hits me with billy club. Fight nreaks out....je loses. Pretty bloodu one.
So she takes me bak n wants yo work things outbut is stilk screwing around with him saying they r friends n he owes her money but he cant pay her til he has the money. Go figure.
I gave her a deadline me or him 7 days. Ee are on day one.
What the heck do i think. Yin or yang on this one?