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Why did this happen with my boyfriend? Do you believe he really did have work?

 
 
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 04:48 am
I've known this guy for quite some months now. Everything seems to be going great between us. We have good connection, can be at ease around each other, talk and laugh about everything and have fun. I believe we are quite serious about each other as he has asked me before what my goals are for the future, and his. He has included me in those goals and said what he wants. We've had the serious talk, about children, our views on marriage and the list goes on. We see each other at least 3 times a week and usually the weekend, and recently he said he wants to see me even more. He will text me a lot during the day and night and will call me as well. Usually if I last minute ask him to do something, he will come and join. He works a lot and I still don't exactly understand what he does, but he is basically a banker for a real estate company and has to travel a lot. He's currently been dealing with some deals in other countries with a lot of money. Hundreds of thousands, almost millions. According to him. So often, when we're together, he is on his phone with his bosses, who I know have male voices because I can hear it. He seems very serious about me and the relationship but these are some random issues I have, which I have not addressed yet to him. We've been dating for a little over 2 months now.


-At first, he would take me to places that were at least 20 minutes drive away, and takes me to the movies a lot. I sort of questioned this, but he would say that he loves the place. Lately he's been taking me to places that are closer, and much busier. -When we're out and having dinner, he will usually look around the room a lot(not sure if this is a sign of a controlling man or..)
-He's 10 years older than me. -He's told me he's apparently not married, nor have had children before.
-Apparently lives with a sibling. Haven't met a friend/family member yet. This also could be due the fact we are of different cultures and both sort of nervous.
-When we spoke about our views on sex, he at one point said that he dislikes to have sex with a woman he's not emotionally/attracted to, because it's such a drain on him.
-The other night was the first time we slept together and he booked a hotel for me, because I brought up the fact I didn't want to interfere with his sister and he agreed. I started to get my period straight after we slept together and he was really concerned for me, made sure we went to the shops and got everything. Really caring about it all. Then, when we went out for dinner.. He was talking about how previous women he has been with doesn't understand his work, and how he constantly has to travel. So I told him how I felt, and that I would be respectful of it, just like how I would hope he would do the same for my work. After we got back to the hotel, he got a call from his boss(which I could hear was a male voice) and said he had to be in another country(driving distance) by the morning so he ended up dropping me home. He brought me home around 11ish because he had to be up early in the morning to drive. I thought it was slightly odd. Besides that, we had a good night, and our communication is great. He told me that he is so glad we met, complimented me, etc.
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 810 • Replies: 8
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BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 05:09 am
@veronicalawrence,
Well there are trust issues that may or may not be warranted.

In any case, background checks now can be done cheaply using the internet and might be worth it to you and your peace of mind.

One thing that should be easy to check out is if his job of the nature he had told you and does he have a wife hidden away somewhere.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 05:15 am
I'm going to spin the big relationships wheel and say that I think he's either married or separated. Otherwise, I have no idea why you staying in a hotel (which it seems you didn't even stay in overnight) could possibly have anything to do with his sister.

Consider the clues, such as they are. He doesn't take you out close to home, unless it's some hide in a crowd type of place. He hasn't introduced you to anyone in his family or his circle of friends, despite dating for a few months. A few hours in a hotel smells fishy no matter what the circumstances are. And he's already trying to get you to be understanding (and claims other women aren't, thereby pressuring you to do so) about his vague so-called work that oh so conveniently pulls him across the border.

Do you even know where this guy lives?
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 05:20 am
@jespah,
Jespah I agree with you and her that something does not smell right but once more a cheap background check seems the best solution to her questions at least to me.
engineer
 
  2  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 06:01 am
@BillRM,
Just Google the guy. That should turn up some interesting things. If he is a commercial banker, you should find him on their website and on professional websites for example.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 06:58 am
@veronicalawrence,
http://able2know.org/topic/288588-1#post-6005902
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 07:37 am
@engineer,
Quote:
Just Google the guy. That should turn up some interesting things. If he is a commercial banker, you should find him on their website and on professional websites for example.


I would indeed begin with a simple google/facebook search without question, but if I still have any questions afterward I would then spend fifty dollars or so and have a background check done.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 08:54 am
@veronicalawrence,
Have you introduced him to any of your family / friends ?

When you slept together, why didn't you go to your place?
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Aug, 2015 08:58 am
@Ragman,
the same question is on reddit and yahoo - with this additional detail on yahoo

Quote:
-We haven't slept together yet. When he asked me when I would feel comfortable doing so, I told that I wouldn't want to interfere and come to his house, with his sister there. So he suggested a nice hotel.


https://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20150808235131AA7p1CC
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