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Should I tell my sis in law my brother's ex gf is 7 months pregnant?

 
 
Reply Fri 7 Aug, 2015 11:52 pm
Should I tell my sister in law my brother s ex is 7 months pregnant?My brother got another woman pregnant 7 months ago and got back with his ex wife 6.5 months ago. He cheated on her in the past and now they are working out things. He was dating his former gf and broke up but had been saying she was pregnant in December, she wasn t and now she is because they had sex before he moved back in with his ex wife. He moved across the country to be with his ex wife and 5 yo daughter. I came to stay with them for the summer because they needed help with my niece. His ex gf sent me a message and told me that she hadn t heard from him for two weeks and that she s expecting his child in two months and wants him to be a part of his life. Should I tell my brother I know and also tell his ex wife? His ex wife and I are very good friends and I don t want her to think I kept it from her. She forgave him for cheating in the past and she knows that his ex gf might have gotten pregnant. Obviously my brother knows she s pregnant and hasn t told her. It s so wrong, she s helped him turn his life around because all he did last year with his ex was party, get drunk and do drugs. My sis in law is in grad school and at this point they are both working great together and have a good. I don t know if I should but I m thinking more about how much it ll affect my niece if I don t say anything and fly home and then when it does come to light, she ll be stuck here with noone to turn to while her parents figure out this situation.
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
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Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 03:12 am
Keep your nose out. This is not your business.
maribellah
 
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Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 05:09 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
I know it's not my business but because the girl messaged me and brought me into it and obviously my brother is a dumas and hasn't told his wife I feel that it's the right thing to do. Within families things get swept under the rug because people believe it's "not your business " but I think if they have the balls to make stupid decisions and hurt others because of their selfish wants then when it comes to light they also need to take responsibility. And it's not so much that I want to get mixed up in this, it's that at least I can distance my 5 yo niece from their arguing and I'm sure there will be a lot of arguing while I'm here. I live across the country so it's difficult to see her often.
jespah
 
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Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 05:22 am
@maribellah,
If you really must insist on inserting yourself into this drama, do so by telling your brother that you know, and threaten to tell his wife if he doesn't within a short, set amount of time (say, by Monday).

If you need to carry out your threat, do so when talking to both of them; don't just talk to her by herself. But give your brother the opportunity to come clean on his own first.

I agree with tes yeux that this is not your concern, not really. I do recommend against getting involved. But, like I said, if it has to happen, do it the way I suggested. And be prepared for the fallout to come raining down on your own head. Unfair or not, that's often what happens, that the messenger gets shot.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 07:32 am
Agree with Jespah.

This is your BROTHER's mess, not yours. Tell him to go to a couples counselor, he's going to need it.

(Why do YOU think you even need to solve this debacle - or even be involved? I have a feeling you have been cleaning up your brother's messes all his life and that's why he is the way he is.)
maribellah
 
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Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 08:11 am
@PUNKEY,
I went ahead and told my brother his ex contacted me. And that he has this weekednd to tell his current partner before i do. And no, I never have, my sister tends to do that though, I've never gotten involved with his life because the consequences were his not mine. If he was a stranger I wouldn't care less. And any bad thing that happens to him because of his mistake he did knowingly, is on him. I don't care if he gets mad at me. I've never understood how people can keep quiet about things, life changing things, because they feel it's not their business. If a friend goes out flirts with someone other then their partner, or does something like that, yeah it's not my business, they aren't even family. But in this case both my bro and his wife are family and my niece is the one in the middle of all this. I think of actions like that, not saying anything, like the bystander affect in a sense.
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