my boyfriend hardly wants to get intimate

I think you have two choices.

1) Dump him. If a relationship isn't working than it isn't working. Get out, take some time to heal, and then get on with life. Your future self will thank you for it (even though it is hard).

2) Try to fix the relationship. This means that you tell him clearly and directly what is making you unhappy. This works better if you take responsibility for your own feelings and needs... if you start to attack each other then there is no hope. If counseling is a possibility often this works.

If you are going to try to fix the relationship, you need to be open to the possibility that the relationship is already hopeless. In that case it is better to just end it and move on.

But. it sounds to me like you are already at that point. Everyone goes through a breakup, it is always difficult... but in hindsight we are almost always glad we did it.

Was the relationship always like this? If not, when did all this start?

What are your ages?

He is 27, I'm 25. He has had some performance issues before, in the beginning. But we were getting a lot better. Wow, that does sound a little crazy though. I just don't know if he really is disinterested or if there is something else going on. I don't understand why somebody would look for something more, if you have a willing partner.

How long have you been together as a couple?

9months

Are you generally able to talk about life stuff?

Is he right that you're not satisfied when you are intimate?

Yea, we can usually talk about things. I'm not really worried about if I'm satisfied. Its hard for me to orgasam with just sex, and we have talked about that too. Its just going to take some time for me. But I don't think I should be punished both ways. Either with no sex because he's upset I can't get off... Or sex all the time where he only cares about himself.

This is probably too intimate and maybe inappropriate for you to answer here, but something to consider: have you ever explored making your own orgasm happen by masturbating? I know a lot of young women avoid that for various reasons, but it can be a surprisingly good way to learn about your own body and may help in your experience with your boyfriend. Your own knowledge may help you help him to get what gives you pleasure. There are also books out there you could both read and learn from and turn intimacy into fun.

Sounds like you both need to work on communicating about sex - show him what works for you and how - give him a better opportunity for success and you a better opportunity for orgasm.

wait - by just sex do you mean penetration? I'm assuming that it is but it's best to check.

At 25 and 27, you two should be like rabbits.

He seems disinterested in sex. He either has very low testosterone levels or is gay, depressed, on medication, stressed, or just tired.

Insist he get a physical and tell the Dr. what's going on.

Are you saying he can not get an erection or has difficulty maintaining an erection?