guilt

Forums: Relationships, Guilt, Marriage, Optional Punctuation Syndrom
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I was married at 21 my wife started a relationship with the man next door and by the age of 23 I was divorced with a child and I said I would never get hurt like that again I had a few girls for the next few years at the age of 27 with a 4 year old child I meet a girl of 18 and she had said many years later she had loved me from the age of 11 but at the time because I did not want to get hurt again I was really not a nice person towards her not to be big headed but she worshipped every bone of my body I tried even to make her see other men but she said I was the only one for her I rented a place and in time she moved in with me but i still did not trust anyone I still took the Mick out of her and my son started to do the same when we went on holiday she ask me to be kind to her which I was but i said to my son this has to stop and treat her with more respect because he was only copying me we were together for another 17 years I knew in that time she wanted children but i was scared but I also knew time to have children was running out for her so being a bit old fashion I said we will get married she had asked me a few times before but I said no we tried for a child straight away and become pregnant and I had changed I was as happy as my wife but when my wife went into contractions the baby our Lauren had died she was stillborn and we both cried and cried but nearly 2 years later my wife gave birth to a baby boy Ben and I thought of all the years I had wasted but at the age of 56 years old when we had been together for 38 years my wife and I found out she had cancer and died with in 6 weeks this must be what they mean by karma

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 2,981 • Replies: 14

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@postboy1,

Ok. Um, sorry for your loss? But what exactly was your purpose for posting this info on here? If there was a purpose, the next time you might actually try sticking a few periods in there. You know, make it easier to read. Personally, the lack of any structure makes me doubt you are old enough to have had all this happen to you. You write as though you are some 14 yr old kid who hasn't paid attention in your grammar classes.

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@CoastalRat,

i am sorry i come across like that my grammar is not that good but my grief is real and i am 66 years old i wont bother you again

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@postboy1,

You did not bother me at all. I just don't see the point of your post. You did not ask any question. You did not ask for advice. You posted about yourself but for what purpose? If it was simply to let a bunch of strangers know you exist and to tell us about your love life then you should know that most of us really don't care about your love life. If we want to know about someone's love life we can buy a good romantic book and read it. If you have questions or want advice or suggestions, then ask. That is the purpose of these forums.

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@CoastalRat,

People often do not want to tell the people around them of their anguish about their life, about their guilt feelings, or, often, their lack of feelings of guilt.

This happens in many forums, including this one, and it can be a positive for the people who go ahead and put their feelings into words.

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Postboy - try to focus on the good times. Re-living the problems and sick days can make a person depressed.

Do you have children in your life now? It's never too late to change or to help our children learn from our own mistakes. Share your wishes for change with your children. Love those around you.

Peace. Regret is hard on people. Don't make yourself sick with grief.

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@PUNKEY,

thank you for your reply its all about guilt I can not forgive my self because of the way I acted and its to late now its only when shes gone I know how much I loved her yes we have one child he is 18 and he will do anything for anyone and the reason for my post was how do people deal with guilt

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@postboy1,

Women have a strange way of knowing when they are loved. Words do not have to be spoken. You married her, you had a son with her. That's enough for her to know your love for her. She also knew of your pain before hand with the cheating and why you took so long to propose. She also knew you told your son to stop with the remarks as he was mimicking you.

My question to you though is you had a son from the first relationship and a son from this relationship. What happened to the first child..

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@FOUND SOUL,

thank you found soul I took great comfort from your reply and your kind words my first child is 45 this year and I see him and my grand children most weekends be cause he does not live near me and we have a very good relationship

1 Reply

@postboy1,

Thank you postboy. It's obvious to me that when you stated "1" child that you are still referring to your wife and your child. And how you are feeling.

I am glad that you could see the reality of how we think/feel. Look after also your second child and in that you will find more comfort as things immerge over time as you see simular traits.

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@FOUND SOUL,

thank you your so kind

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@postboy1,

postboy1 wrote:

I was married at 21 my wife started a relationship with the man next door and by the age of 23 I was divorced with a child and I said I would never get hurt like that again I had a few girls for the next she was stillborn and we both cried and cried but nearly 2 years later my wife 38 years my wife and I found out she had cancer and died with in 6 weeks this must be what they mean by karma

That's a tribal rant. Gosh, amazing you see it so crookedly. Not a bit old fashion at all my friend. Just wrong century. well, hurt is bad and that is good to avoid. I don't think there is a solution for avoiding it other than not doing it again. Karma is a lie.

guilt

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