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Parents of GF wont let her get cancer treatment because they "Don't believe in western medicine"?

Forums: Medical, Health
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mmABCD
 
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 12:42 am
So this is a big problem I have.

A few weeks ago me and my girlfriend were getting a little excited and touchy and I discovered a rather obvious lump on her left breast (About the size of a dime). When it tried to touch at it a second time she flinched rather noticeably. Being a very caring and worrisome person I insisted she bring it up with her parents... She refused the first few times, but I insisted she check the lump over the next few days and weeks, and from what I have seen is has grown to about the size of a nickle and is taking on an odd lumpy shape. And to make things worse, the breast very faintly appears to be bruised and she is striking up a fever... I was worried sick by the end of the 3 or 4 weeks and refused to leave her house one day until she brought it up with her parents. But, when she did, her parents refused to let her go to a doctor. Flat out refused. They wont even let her get checked, just to be sure if it is real cancer. They dont believe in modern medicine, and her mother is now designing her a "safe diet" and is ordering "pure oils" to rub on her breasts which will apparently cure her of any of her problems.

Im ******* infuriated and worried as hell.. Ive been with her for 5 years of my life. I have convinced her to seek help in other places, but neither of us are sure where to begin... First place I can think of is CPS. But im not sure. Is there anything we can do? Call the police or the hospital or something? Anything? I just want to make sure we do something, anything before it is too late.
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Type: Question • Score: 9 • Views: 1,979 • Replies: 29

 
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 12:54 am
@mmABCD,
Have her go to a local Planned Parenthood clinic. They charge on a sliding scale based on financial circumstances and should be able to do an exam.

mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 12:56 am
@Butrflynet,
What do you mean? We dont exactly have money and her parents WILL NOT pay for any of this...
0 Replies
 
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 01:18 am
@mmABCD,
Anyone know anything I can do? Please?
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 01:26 am
http://seer.cancer.gov/statfacts/html/images/age_distribution/Age_Dist_New_Cases_Site_051_Sex_2.png
http://seer.cancer.gov/statfacts/html/breast.html

How old is this female? I am wondering if they know more about breast cancer than you do, enough to know that the chance that she has it is statistically almost zero.
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 01:36 am
@hawkeye10,
In the age range that is apparently '0%' however she is showing several sure fire signs of it and to be honest, even if the chances are low I just want her to get checked by a professional to be sure she is okay. I hope that is understood.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 01:43 am
@mmABCD,
The cost is probably one of the reasons Butrflynet suggested Planned Parenthood. If you are not in the US, that might be an option, but you would have surely mentioned that.

It definitely needs to be checked out, and soon if it is growing as you say it is.
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 01:50 am
@roger,
But my question with that (because his reply kinda suggested it) was if it costed anything? I dont have a lot of money, and neither does she. And neither of her parents will support anything that involves "modern medicine"
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 02:01 am
@mmABCD,
I don't know, but I'm sure she did when she made the suggestion. Use a telephone if you can't find out some other way.
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 02:08 am
@mmABCD,
mmABCD wrote:

In the age range that is apparently '0%' however she is showing several sure fire signs of it and to be honest, even if the chances are low I just want her to get checked by a professional to be sure she is okay. I hope that is understood.
That is not what you said....you said that her parents were keeping her from cancer treatment. You dont know that she has cancer, and if she is under 20 she can be assumed to not have cancer.

Re treatment, If you are in the US call the county health department if you have one, which you almost certainly do. Better yet ask GF to do it. If she does they will steer her in the right direction. It will take time to work the bureaucracy but it is her health so it is worth it. Right?

EDIT: in my town we have several once a week clinics, a couple of hours or a half day per week staffed by volunteers and charged on a sliding scale or donations only. See if you have one.
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 02:29 am
@roger,
Okay, thank you very much.
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 02:36 am
@mmABCD,
I think they're giving you good advice, mmABCD. What's the parents' problem with modern medicine? Are they caught up in pseudoscience or a religion?
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 05:44 am
@mmABCD,
Are you in the US? If so she is supposed to have insurance. She if she can find her insurance card? Also, does she have a regular doctor that she sees -- I know that you said her parents don't believe in western medicine, but she may have a primary care doctor if she is in the US - she could always call the officer herself -- you have not mentioned her age, but I would assume based on your relationship she must be 15 or older.... so old enough she can contact her doctor herself.

If she is in the US and has a doctor, she should contact her doctor herself..they should have all the insurance information. Also, if there is any cost and she is under 18 the parents are responsible for paying for her care even if they don't want to -- if care is needed they need to pay cash.

There has just been recently a case in the US where the government is forcing a child to receive cancer treatment even though her parents and she does not want it -- because she is a minor.
The planned parenthood as someone suggested is a great route too as they will give you both advice and try to help as much as possible and again I wouldn't worry about the financial aspect if your girlfriend is under 18 as the parents will be responsible whether they want to be or not.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 05:46 am
@Linkat,
One other thing to add even if it isn't cancer, it is something that is harming her so she needs to have to taken care of. None of us know whether it is cancer or not and just because there is low probability at her age to develop breast cancer, doesn't mean it cannot happen.
0 Replies
 
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 06:52 am
@FBM,
Conspiracy theorists...

On my first day eating dinner with her family, they refused to let me fill up my glass with water from the tap. I found this to be very confusing, since New York has some of the purest water in all of the USA... And their reasoning was because the government apparently "puts fluoride in the water". They said the government does it for population control. And they said that they add bad stuff to medicine to make you sick more, so you go back to get more medicine. Thats why they hate modern medicine.

Pardon my french, but they are ******* insane. Like, I love them, they are great people, but they are endangering the life of a young girl just because of their insane paranoia.
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 06:57 am
@Linkat,
Yeah when I'm done with work and school today I will look into the Planned Parenthood. As for the insurance, I'm not certain. Her parents try and keep her and the rest of her siblings as off the books as possible.. She has not even gotten all her vacations. So I'm not sure if she has any forms of health insurance...
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 07:14 am
@mmABCD,
mmABCD wrote:

Conspiracy theorists...

On my first day eating dinner with her family, they refused to let me fill up my glass with water from the tap. I found this to be very confusing, since New York has some of the purest water in all of the USA... And their reasoning was because the government apparently "puts fluoride in the water". They said the government does it for population control. And they said that they add bad stuff to medicine to make you sick more, so you go back to get more medicine. Thats why they hate modern medicine.

Pardon my french, but they are ******* insane. Like, I love them, they are great people, but they are endangering the life of a young girl just because of their insane paranoia.


Aw, man. Sorry to hear that. We've got a few of those here on A2K. There's absolutely no way to reason with them. So you can forget about that. The only option I can see is to find a way to leave the parents out of the equation. Planned Parenthood and the like. Also, maybe informal networking. If you know somebody who knows somebody who has a relative who is a nurse, etc. Maybe they can do you a solid on how to work the system.

The other thing is, take some comfort in the data posted earlier. The breast cancer rate below 20 drops to 0%. Think mastitis or something like that. No fun, but not cancer, either. It's understandable that you're worried about a lump, but lumps at her age are overwhelmingly benign, according to the research. In my experience, you can't expect perfect consistency in any tittie at any age. Wink
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 07:17 am
@FBM,
Lol thank you for putting that in more kind of a way then the guy who first posted the statistic. I am taking comfort in that, or doing my best to anyways.
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 07:25 am
@mmABCD,
mmABCD wrote:

Lol thank you for putting that in more kind of a way then the guy who first posted the statistic. I am taking comfort in that, or doing my best to anyways.


Cheers. Smile I don't want to get too graphic, but I've felt some pretty shocking lumps that were guaranteed benign by medical professionals, even though they felt like golf balls in a water balloon to me.
mmABCD
 
  1  
Reply Mon 4 May, 2015 07:40 am
@FBM,
Im probably just worrying a bit too much.
Shes 17 so her body is most likely still sort of growing a bit (Im the same age) Its just the alarming rate at which it changed and grew.
 

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