Post: # 3,457,537
View Profile firefly
 
  2  
Reply Fri 31 Oct, 2008 11:16 pm
Does Moet Champagne usually have a screw off cap? Guess another bottle or two of cheap wine will be your liquid dinner, you lush.

I fixed my doorbell today.
Post: # 3,457,560
View Profile Dutchy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2008 12:23 am
Whatever for, nobody comes and visits an old hag.

My dentist told me this morning my teeth were in good shape.
Post: # 3,457,636
View Profile alex240101
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2008 05:25 am
Did he pull them out of the jar to look at them?

Four more days of constuction left.
Post: # 3,457,649
View Profile Dutchy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2008 06:05 am
You're to old to be playing with Lego Sets aren't you?

Tomorrow will be the perfect day for a BBQ.
Post: # 3,457,954
View Profile firefly
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Nov, 2008 12:44 pm
Since your idea of a BBQ is a burned food and beer blast, it's no wonder that no one ever shows up, and why your neighbors lock their windows and leave town for the day to get away from all that awful smoke. So, have fun, alone, gnawing on those burgers that taste like burned hockey pucks, and guzzling your case of beer until you pass out on your lawn again.

I received a very funny e-mail today.
Post: # 3,459,070
View Profile NickFun
 
  2  
Reply Sun 2 Nov, 2008 02:23 pm
Someone wrote to you and told you you were cute? LOL!

I am reclining in my new office chair.
Post: # 3,459,138
View Profile Dutchy
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Nov, 2008 03:06 pm
Probably waiting for your secretary to perform a lap dance.

The weather is nice, taking the boat out for a pleasure cruise, this morning.

Post: # 3,459,187
View Profile firefly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Nov, 2008 03:55 pm
That broken down leaking rowboat will never make it more than three feet from the dock.

I have been sticking to a healthy diet.

Post: # 3,459,193
View Profile NickFun
 
  2  
Reply Sun 2 Nov, 2008 03:58 pm
Heavy fats, pastries, McDonald's burgers - you know- healthy.

My doc says I have the body of a boy.
Post: # 3,459,241
View Profile Dutchy
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Nov, 2008 04:27 pm
You should change doctors, he's probably a paedophile, you dumb ass.

Just had a swim and feel very refreshed.
Post: # 3,460,890
View Profile NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 07:58 pm
But you still stink. Maybe the sewer is not the best place to swim.

I am nearly 50 but I can still do a full hand stand.
Post: # 3,461,531
View Profile firefly
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Nov, 2008 11:34 am
Standing and holding your arms over your head is not a hand stand, you jerk. You're not even 50, and you're already showing signs of senility.

I voted bright and early this morning.
Post: # 3,461,731
View Profile NickFun
 
  2  
Reply Tue 4 Nov, 2008 01:26 pm
And you didn't even have to wait in line because your stench caused all other voters to flee the area.

I voted "no" on question 8.
Post: # 3,463,089
View Profile Dutchy
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Nov, 2008 05:47 am
Only because you can't read you dumb ass.

I'm watching an interesting movie on TV and enjoying a beer at the same time.

(Firefly I loved your post on the "I am proud" thread, well written, straight from the heart, congratulations)
Post: # 3,463,113
View Profile firefly
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Nov, 2008 06:19 am
(Thank you, Dutchy. Although those kind words make it a little hard to insult you. I'll have to force myself Laughing )

Yup, that first morning beer really goes well with the dumb cartoons you like to watch. By noon, you'll be so drunk you'll have to crawl to the bathroom on your hands and knees--if you're able to make it that far.

I was up all night watching the election coverage.
Post: # 3,463,949
View Profile NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Wed 5 Nov, 2008 04:23 pm
The election coverage ended at 11PM. Now tell us why you were REALLY up all night.

I hope Obama appoints me to something.
Post: # 3,464,846
View Profile firefly
 
  2  
Reply Thu 6 Nov, 2008 09:28 am
Chief pooper-scooper for the puppy the Obamas' plan to get would suit your level of talent perfectly. You'd be in charge of cleaning up the White House lawn after the dog has dumped it's load.

I went to a games arcade yesterday.
Post: # 3,465,357
View Profile Dutchy
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Nov, 2008 03:25 pm
Really, trying to find younger clients are you, fat chance at your age granny.

Going into town tomorrow and watch the Christmas Pageant, promises to be a real spectacle this year.
Post: # 3,465,598
View Profile firefly
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Nov, 2008 07:04 pm
You'll be the one making a real spectacle of yourself--as usual. This year, at least try to keep your pants on.

I have out of town relatives visiting this week.
Post: # 3,466,258
View Profile NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Nov, 2008 12:25 pm
They will take a quick look at where you live and run from the house screaming "We're not related!!!"

I met a supermodel yesterday.
 

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