Wife cheated with a guy and they're still friends

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My wife is in college. She went later in life after we had
Our kids. We're in our 30's. She became good friends with
A guy I'll call Chris (not his real name).
They schedule classes together and hang out in between.

The other night we were cuddling and my wife started crying.
She had to admit something to me. It seems that a few weeks ago
Chris showed up for early morning class in sleep bottoms
white T-shirt and flipflops. After class he asked my wife to study
together for the quiz in their next class.

They went out to his truck and started studying. I guess after
a while my wife noticed that Chris was adjusting himself
a few times and could see the side of his erect penis in the
fly of his sleep bottoms. I guess one thing led to another
and she offered to help him out. She gave him a hand job.

I think I can forgive the cheating but my wife insists it will
never happen again so she still wants to remain school
friends with Chris.

I'm torn I think this friendship needs to end now!
Am I overreacting?

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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 2,031 • Replies: 24

@concernedhusband,

No. It's wisest to end that friendship. It's your marriage that is at stake. How you feel about what happened is what should matter here. She can find another study partner. This about your needs, too. The marriage has been threatened by this infidelity. Are you and have you been faithful to her?

Out of curiosity, what is wrong with studying at the library instead of someone's truck? Where is the common sense there?

Furthermore, you two clearly have some marital trouble. There'd be no fidelity issue if she and you had no issue with your marriage and intimacy. Either work that out between you two..and/or seek counseling. In the meanwhile she might seek friendship and study-buddies elsewhere, 'cause that well is polluted.

1 Reply

@concernedhusband,

<giggling - sorry - can't get past the funny detail of the white t-shirt>

will try to come back later and try to read this in a more serious frame of mind

1 Reply

@concernedhusband,

How do you supposed they will study now after hand job?
He will definitely want some more and she is probably so
kind - she will do it for him.
Look into your sex life and lose Chris or else...

0 Replies

@ehBeth,

I just put out there what my wife described. I take it she was implying he just rolled out of bed, put flipflops on, and went to class.

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@Ragman,

Thanks for the advice.
We have no marital nor intimacy issues.
I would like to think that my wife is just curious about other men's bodies and it will end with this one incident.

My wife was a virgin when we met at 17. She's never been with another man and only dated 3 guys before me that got to the back seat of a car groping around. 2 were smaller, and 1 was around the same size as me.

I hope this was just some curiosity thing when she say the side of his erect penis and wanted to see the whole thing and the hand job just happened.

4 Replies

@concernedhusband,

Stop and smell the coffee.

Quote:

We have no marital nor intimacy issues.

You certainly do have a problem. add to that being in denial.

0 Replies

This has been building up for some time: the (outfit) that he wore and the "studying" in his vehicle says it was a set up for even more than what happened.

You and your wife need to go to counseling AND he needs to not come within 100 feet of your home or wife. Insist that this friendship being OVER.
.

0 Replies

@concernedhusband,

concernedhusband wrote:

2 were smaller, and 1 was around the same size as me.

is this a relevant detail to anything?

_____

what's happening with your marriage? everybody happy?

ask your wife directly why she 'helped him out'

____

the whole story is hinky

0 Replies

@concernedhusband,

concernedhusband wrote:

the hand job just happened.

and really - how is this cheating?

if it's just a hand job, then it's just a hand job

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Yeah, like "I did not have sex with that woman.'

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@concernedhusband,

There are a lot of different penises. What if she would like to see some more?

2 Replies

@Eliusa,

oh! great question <nods>

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@Eliusa,

I'm in the back of my mind thinking you're right.
Her lack of sexual experience makes what we have had for over10 years great. But I think she is curious about other guys.

I can hope this was a one time thing, but... I think we need to talk out why she wanted to see his penis and even more importantly why she touched it to the point of making him cum.

2 Replies

@concernedhusband,

Quote:

My wife was a virgin when we met at 17. She's never been with another man and only dated 3 guys before me that got to the back seat of a car groping around. 2 were smaller, and 1 was around the same size as me.

You asked her if the penises she touched were bigger or smaller than yours?

I suppose you were only 17.

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@concernedhusband,

It's all just odd. She gets into a truck with another man who's dressed in his pajamas basically, to study, and gives him a hand job? Uhhh that is a "friendship" that needs to end.

1 Reply

@sparkleshine,

sparkleshine wrote:

It's all just odd. She gets into a truck with another man who's dressed in his pajamas basically, to study, and gives him a hand job? Uhhh that is a "friendship" that needs to end.

You are right this is a peculiar situation if its true. I don't care how friendly a man and woman are together she should not be helping this platonic friend out by giving him a hand job! In fact, once she does this she has crossed all lines of so-called platonic friendship, a relationship that is strictly "just friends" and usually never involves anything sexual. . BTW, the woman giving the hand job sounds a little weird.

2 Replies

@korkamann,

Couldn't agree more with your post...

0 Replies

@concernedhusband,

You have the perfect set up for a three way. Use it.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

I'm torn I think this friendship needs to end now!
Am I overreacting?

I don't think so!

0 Replies

Wife cheated with a guy and they're still friends

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