You SHOULD Go To Bed Angry

Forums: Relationships, Marriage, Angger
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Sometimes I hear people saying that they have a habit of never going to bed angry with one another. Some say no matter how mad or hurt or disgusted they might get with each other, they always discuss it in bed or before bed.
That's fine if that really works for them.

I believe that sometimes you actually SHOULD go to bed angry!

That's because time provides perspective. Furthermore, amygdala (our ancient part of the brain responsible for fight or flight) is at rest and we can think reasonably again. This is what neuroscience tells us. How many times did you find an argument or an issue you've been fighting about to be silly already the next morning? That's what I'm talking about. All I can say is that sometimes it helps to back off a little, take some time, sleep over and then calmly talk about it. At least that's my experience, and I'm married for more than 15 years.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 795 • Replies: 5

@MarkWP,

Well, I've been married longer'n you have (as if that mattered in this area), and we don't go to bed angry because nobody ever gets any sleep that way.

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@MarkWP,

Have you ever thought of the "other" person? Whilst you are angry and require time to re-consider the situation, the other person is still feeling hurt.

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I haven't gone to bed angry... since the divorce.

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He's gone to bed. Then I went to bed.

Yes, I was upset. Mostly because he was sleeping like a dog.

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@MarkWP,

I think it depends on your relationship and what works best for you both. No one person or couple is the same so a one size fits all does not always work. My opinion if it works for you and your spouse then do so. Just make sure (which I am guessing if you are both happy in your marriage) that you spouse is satisified with this handling.

Sometimes - I can see where a little time and space could help --- if you need some space to cool down and think reasonably.

I think one thing with the don't go to bed angry is it could result in having a sleepless night depending on the level of anger. However, if it is something more along the lines of we can't agree --- lets sleep on it and revisit later -- I could see time away from an impasse could help clear the mind.

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You SHOULD Go To Bed Angry

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