Cheater Radar?

How does someone "almost cheat"?

It doesn't sound like you two have a very trusting relationship. I would be pretty hurt and upset if I found out that my wife were investigating me.

It seems to me that if you are going to go through the trouble of being married to someone, you should trust them without the need for any investigations.

You are either hyper sensitive to him or he's like a little boy who looks down or hides when he does something "wrong."

Are you in a "mother role" with him? Or is he that obvious that he's done something wrong.

Can you give an example?
Did you hire a private investigator to follow him?

I'll have to add more later but yes to many of your questions. The relationship has been damaged. Trust is at a low. Suspicions are up. I know what I'm writing is not healthy. I know what I'm doing is not healthy. I'm not looking for your opinions on my character, just an answer to the question.

I will answer your question directly. The answer is 'no'. His discomfort is not evidence of him doing anything wrong. It is evidence of the tension that exists in a marriage without trust.

If you are "investigating" your husband he is going to feel uncomfortable. You would feel uncomfortable two if he were always snooping around to catch you doing something wrong.

You are correct maxdancona I was uncomfortable when he was snooping around to catch me doing something.
As for you answer, I consider this a viable possibility. Thanks

He "almost cheated" at a place in our marriage when I suppose he starting to have real doubts about spending the rest of his life with me.
He did this by being a single man with two children on various dating sites, Having a secret email, and confessing to inviting a woman to his room when he was out of town on business. This of course was innocent as he said they were having a great conversation and he just wanted it to continue. At that point I said "oh well then I'm to assume when I'm out of town and a man invites me to his room for conversation it will be ok with you" and then proceeded with "what kind of f'ing food do you think I am". After promising that nothing happened and he realized his mistake when "she" tried to "kiss" him he asked her to leave. But she called his room, so he says a few times to try and change his mind. Then later when professing to me that he actually did not find her physically attractive (although he admits she had a pretty face) he
described her breast as floppy".
And as far as the dating sites...he never spoke with anyone, he was just looking.

Since all this happened a few years ago, washed up now under some bridge where the water feeds into a river that rounds a bend and comes back where it started...There have been several things that have made me suspicious. As I said I have lived with him 19 years and married 18. I know this man (though he says I don't). I understand that I would be hyper sensitive at this point and doubt this our that here and there. And if I trust him so little I should just get out yadda yadda...but all that is so much easier said then done.
Snidely shaking your finger at me on a forum lives little doubt that you have not walked a mile in my shoes, nor to you fully understand the situation by reading a paragraph about my doubts. It's not easy to try and decide if the man you trusted, loved, had beautiful children with is someone you want to remain married to if they are not invested in the relationship. Somehow you just want proof to settle your crazy mind. Sorry I'm so awful.