Gaining custody back

Forums: Legal, Relationships, Family, Child Custody
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Hello. So I have An unusual case. 2.5 years ago my daughter's father essentially threatened me into giving him full legal custody and placement or else he would"make it very hard for me" because I was evicted from my apartment where I had placement and 50 percent custody. Now for the past almost two years I have been in my own stable house with a stable job full time and he still refuses to give new half custody back even. The original order he forced me into was I get her every Saturday from 10 to 6pm. We each drive one way. For the Past year and a half we have agreed off court order for I get her every two weekends in a row but I drive both ways because he refuses to drive one way. And making me pay 100$ every two weeks for"child care" when daycare during the weeks is $70 roughly. In which I believe I should only pay half of THAT and not have any of that go to his live in girlfriend or his grandmother that left my daughter in the care of a10 year old and two year old (my daughter is 4) top go to the gym. He tells me even if I take him to court I won't win anything because he has proof I'm an"unfit mother" even though threes no possible evidence that I know of that would even lead to that. I work third shift right now and can sleep while she goes to school until noon and then can be with her all day until bedtime. In which case my boyfriend sleeps at night so she would be at home unlike she is at her father's. With him she goes to school from 8-noon. Then goes to daycare until he gets home (he's a truck driver) or his girlfriend picks her up after she's done with work at 5:30pm. I would like to know if there's a chance I can get art last my half custody back And if even full placement to go to school in the city I live in. Thank you

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,425 • Replies: 9

You need a lawyer.

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@Crimsonlily,

Seek the advice of a lawyer. Any personal opinions here would be a waste of time and could mislead you.

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Why are you listening to your ex about custody issues? Of course, he wants to sabotage your relationship with your child!!

Petition the court for a custody hearing. In the US, this would go before a Family Court or Friend of the Court.

Most times the first meeting with a lawyer is free. Get LEGAL advice, not advice from someone who wants to you fail (your ex.)

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@PUNKEY,

Quote:

Why are you listening to your ex about custody issues? Of course, he wants to sabotage your relationship with your child!!

Hmmm Punkey, would you say the same thing were the gender's reversed?

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@Crimsonlily,

Custody battles are bad for kids.

If you can avoid a battle, then by all means you should avoid it (although sometimes they can't be avoided). If there is any way that you and her father can work out an arrangement responsibly, rather than fighting it out in court, then it will be better for your children.

We are only hearing one side of the story here. It sounds from what you wrote that you did have some issues with housing and employment. It sounds like you are working on these things, and obviously this is a good thing for everyone (including your children).

Could you negotiate as a way of avoiding this fight? You and the father love your kids. You both want what is best for them. Start by talking to him. If this is difficult to do, then what about a third party? Could you get a mediator?

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@Crimsonlily,

You should consult an attorney about this.

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@PUNKEY,

This is a question for you Punkey.

What would you say to a man who said he wanted to get at least half custody, and then complained about the child support he was paying?

This woman has a responsibility to pay child support for the kids she helped bring into the world... rather or not she gets custody. After all, the father is paying for the extra food, and clothes and space. She has an obligation to help with the cost of caring for her kids.

If it were a man making this post, the responses would be to this effect. There is something very wrong with this thread and the responses.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

There is something very wrong with this thread and the responses.

the responses were get a lawyer/get a lawyer/get legal advice/get a lawyer and whatever you said

Given what A2k is about, those recommendations to seek counsel were appropriate responses.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I suppose I was responding specifically to Punkey's rather combative post. Getting legal advice is always a good idea. But you can get legal advice without going to war. If parents can work together, it is always better for the kids (not to mention both of their finances).

There are a couple of things in the original post that give me pause that this poster is even trying.

1) The poster talks about the "order he forced me into" where it was clear that the courts were involved. This is ridiculous. (If you don't see why this is a problem, change the genders and read it again).

2) She is complaining about child support. Actually she says that "he ... is making her pay child support". This is a ridiculous complaint from a woman or a man.

Talking to a lawyer is always a fine idea. But going to court for a custody battle is often a very bad idea. At best it will throw money down the drain. At worst the kids will get hurt.

Much better is learning to talk responsibly to the other parent of your children for their own good.

Does anyone here not agree that she should stop complaining about her child support and just take responsibility for the support of her kids?

If the genders were reversed, you would certainly agree with me.

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Gaining custody back

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