Controlling Mother In Law

I don't know what you call these people if they are narssictic or control freaks or persoanitly disorder.
But that's why I've come here.

My mum's mum and my boyfirend's mum share pretty much the exactly same persoanitly.
My mum and my boyfriend feel pretty much the same way towards there mothers.


Let me run down the smiliar persoanitly traits between my mum's mum and my boyfriends mum.

They are forever giving gifts
They are angry people - bad temper
They never think before they say something. Always has something mean to say.
They are always right
They like to tell you what to do and how you should do it.


My boyfirend's mum is coming over to stay a month and a half.
It be just me and my boyfriend. I be mainly staying at home with my mum because where I live its close to work.

My boyfriend is 27 and Im 23.

Ok whenever she comes we clean the house. I mean yeah you clean the house if someone is going to stay at the house. But it's his parents house. And when we say clean we have to do it OCD clean because the mum is like obbseive cleaner. Like every year we clean the house and it's not good enough she will find some "fault". She will clean till 1.00 at night when I went overseas with my boyfriend to vist the parents. One time when my boyfriend and his brother was still staying at the parents house. She made her two sons clean the garage at 11:00 at night. When I was overseas visiting the parents with my boyfriend. One time the mum told her husband to stop being fat buhhda and clean. This year she saw a photo on my Facebook page of our new puppy and she told my boyfriend how the carpet looks a mess in the photo . My boyfriend lie to her and say. "Oh we vaccume the carpet every second day due to the puppy"

The mum is bad temper.
For example the mum is so,paranoid about the house being clean she hired cleaners to clean the house for us. The cleaners told the mum or the mum asked the cleaners what we do wrong when she not there'. That we put the rubbish bags out the window and next morning we put them in the bin. The mum was so angry about it she yelled and then she threat she will leave and my boyfriend told me she always threat to leave when you don't do what she wants. My boyfriend told me she did this when he was his brother were kids to there dad and the dad would have to drive out find were the mum was and pick her up. The auger,ent then lead to about her childhood and my boyfriend try to express how he felt but she doesn't listen and her eyes were filled of anger and his eyes was fill with sadness. This happened last year by the way.
She then told us the next day that she threat to leave whenever her little brothers didn't do what she told them to do and so she leave and sit by the grave yard and her little brothers would come and say "oh we are sorry we do what we tell you what you want us to do".
The first year when me and my boyfriend went out she was still living in the house before she moved overseas with her husband. So one day I come with my boyfriend to the house and the mum was very anger because she wasn't happy with her hair cut. I stayed in my boyfirend's room because I felted uncomfortable and scared. I didn't say hi to her because I has afarid she was going to yell at me or some thing. We went downstairs and my boyfriend was angry at his mum and she came downstairs to do some washing and she said to me in a mean voice " hello KATE" (don't want to put my real name ) and I was so ah... Shock I couldn't say hi back and she say to me " you can't hide from him. I won't bite but I will chew on you" I was so upset I ran outside crying. My boyfriend came along and I hugged him and she came outside and try to pull me away from my boyfriend. I mean she couldn't because she old and weak and skinny. She said to her son "you will regret this" she hop in the car and drove off. I rang my mum to pick me up. When the mum came back she told me it was joke! And Im like wtf! How in the world what you said was a joke your face was serious! My mum came to pick me up and the mum wanted to talk to my mum and say it was handle well manner. My mum didn't believe her. My mum did ask my boyfriend before we left to come with us but he said no. And that night my boyfriend and his brother and his mum went to see a movie. At the end my boyfriend and his brother begged me to email there mum and say even though it wasn't my fault to make there mum shut up. So I did and she replied back with a sorry email. But ever since that event I've been very afraid of her.

I get nervous bowel movements. I suffer from OCD and I take meds for it too.


Ok she will say weird things

One time she said that the father paid my plane ticket to come over here which ai knew and I am grateful for that. Then she said she didn't ask me to come but the dad did?! She said how she could make her sons to look after her and they won't be with any women so she doesn't want to worry.
One time I told her I struggle in english and she said to me she has sympathy for me? I'm thinking Im just telling you Im not asking for sympathy.
And other time my boyfriend , her and I were talking about ghost and mention how she knows how to do voodoo.


She interferes.
Every year she comes she always try to find something wrong in our relationship when there is none thing there.
Like last year she went on and on to my boyfriend about putting me on the pill to the point he made appointment and the ladies there were mean to the point he contacted his dad and his dad said to him he wouldn't be surprise if there is break fall between my boyfriend and his mum. Eventually the dad told the mum to stop and she did. But now this year there is no dad coming over because he is busy working and no brother because he is busy working overseas. So I a scared. Because last year before his dad come over and his brother from a holiday. The mum drove us crazy! Plus she doesn't drive and last year she made the brother drive her every were. So Im very concern for my boyfriend.



She always gives me presents and stuff.


So I get really confused whats her agenda.

Anyway for my boyfriend he told me his mum makes him angry and he feels he is not good enough and that he feels he has to please his mum all the time. My boyfriend told me in the past since he was 8 he try to kill himself with a knife with a rope or running into traffic. But since he meet me he doesn't get those thoughts anymore which Im great full.


Recently my boyfriend told me because his brother lives with his parents overseas.
That every week there been angry episodes. She got angry at her husband because he forgot the leafs for the salad.
His brother told him that his father was about to cry.
She having a hip operation this year and my boyfriend and I would like to get out before she comes and get her hip done.
Because she just be a pain! To look after. His father would only be here for not the whole recovery because he works overseas.
Im just concern that I end up living at my mum's again and I hardly see my boyfriend. Even though we been together for 6 years!
Whenever his parents come over or his mum our relationship goes back to dating stages. His mum is very demanding for example
She call for her son and he goes to her and ask what it is? And she ask him to put the flower in the rubbish bin from the vase.
Or she gets angry at him because last year he was working 3 jobs and he forgot to get his mum's present from a friend from the post office. And she got angry. It's that stupid stuff!


We really want to move out from his parents house so be are not bond to them.
His parents send him thousands dollars every month for food and petrol. Though he try to avoid using it because he rather use his money .


Help what do we do? What do you do with a parent like this? Advice!