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Should I break up or not?

 
 
Reply Sat 21 Feb, 2015 01:35 pm
Hi guys, I am completely torn over this topic and I have been thinking about it for a couple of months now..

So, me and my boyfriend have been struggling with out relationship for quite some time. We have been together for almost 10 months now and I really love this guy because he is the first one who is actually loyal to me. He has a lot of girl friends but he says that they are just friends of his. He even has my picture as his cover photo on Facebook, and a picture of him and me on his WhatsApp.

For a few months we have been having a lot of issues. At first, it was about me being a jealous girlfriend and having trust issues, but now they are more about the fact that we don't see each other that much anymore (because of long distance). We see each other about 2-3 times a month, and usually spend full weekends together when we see each other. He is very busy all the time because he works as a consultant, and sometimes it is hard for me to only speak to him once a day on the phone + not seeing him for long periods.

Couple of months ago, he told me he was thinking of breaking up for a long time because we have been going through a rough period for quite some time. It didn't happen, because I bursted out in tears (on the phone btw). After that, it seemed like everything was fine, but then it turned bad again and he started to ignore me, after which I got mad since I know he knew I was feeling down/upset. He said he needed a couple of days for himself.

On the same day, we talked on the phone and he again wanted to break up. I told him to think about it for a few days and then tell me his definite answer. He wanted to continue and talk on the weekend about it, face to face, so we did.

Everything was wonderful, but then when we talked, things turned bad again and both of us cried a lot after we decided to break up. The next morning, he was already up, and after I got up he cried again, telling me how he doesn't know whether he made the right decision or not. After that he hugged me tighly and said that "this" is what he wants, me and him together. He asked me if I still wanted to be his baby.

I have never loved someone so much in my entire life, and absolutely do not want to let go of him, but I don't know what to do when he is so insecure about the relationship.. We are okay now, but I have no clue whether I am doing the right thing by staying with him. He also never likes to say anything about the future, because he says he doesn't want to "lie" about something he is not sure of happening (e.g. let's stay forever or something is not something he will ever say)

Is he confused? Stressed by work?

By the way, he has had about 5 girlfriends, and my relationship with him is his second longest one. He has had quite short relationships. Could this also be pointing towards something?

I really need some advice

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jespah
 
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Reply Sat 21 Feb, 2015 02:23 pm
@nathaliebella,
The vast, vast majority of relationship don't last forever.

That's not cheating or disloyalty. It's a numbers game. And it's also that most dating is just tryouts. There is nothing wrong with this.

You say you have been together for around 10 months but there have been 3 breakup talks plus it's long distance plus you have jealousy/trust issues.

It's not looking so good.
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