Single childless old alone
Noddy24 wrote:williewillie--
Welcome to A2K.
This thread has been inactive for quite awhile. Why not ask your question in a new thread?
I was talking last weekend with an unmarried cousin who is facing a solitary life after her 91 year old father dies. She is active in church work, but still dreads being without "family".
Noddy24--
Thank you for your advice. I'm new to this activity and not sure how to start a new thread. This one seemed so perfectly suited to how I was feeling. But I'll try.
I am new here. I have been tryign to develope a network of women to reach out toeachother that are single, childless(my choice) and getting older alone. I do not see myself in some assisstant living facility and I amwondering how we can find a common place to figure out how many of there are and what to do? How to live? Where to live? What typie of placew to develop? is it going to compounds and communial living? where we are at least near one anther ..for safely, medical and compaionsjip..I do not see myself having a signifigant other anymore and therefore at 56 and looking forward I am rather frightened at the prospect of ALONE..HOw can we find others ..I am willing to put a site together with someone..to spread this around..fiances are important and we are a minority that no one seems to pay attention to..How and to whom do we inform? What part of our government do we go to..How do we make ourselves heard and be paid attention too?
Ok...I've been divorced for 18 yrs..and about to turn 55, so single, old and childless..that would be me.
I work fulltime, volunteer at a local hospital at the info desk . I have been doing that for 11 yrs now. I also and have a Therapy dog that I take to visit patients in the hospital, have been doing that for 2 yrs. I also volunteer with the local animal shelter, I foster animals for them , do fundraising, do the TV spot on a local station,write their thank you letters and it goes on and on...and cold harsh reality is...is it possible that you will meet someone if you "get out there", but not probable and but in the grand scheme of things, after you have done the going and doing and trying..at the end of the day..when you go home..you are still alone, with no end or prospects in site.
You get involved and give of yourself.( I give til it hurts) and still I have to eat alone, sleep alone, do all the chores alone, make plans alone, go out to eat alone, travel alone and go dancing alone..and face it..most of these things are better with a partner.
and I say...why get female friend..they are for the most part, looking for the same thing I am and are as unhappy as I am. So you get a group of ladies and you all go out to eat with the hopes..that just maybe.."he" will pop up out of nowhere and then at the end of the nite..you go home alone and you have just put forth all that effort of being out with people you really didn't want to be with, doing something you really didn't want to do and for what??(think about it , if you had you choice of being with your lady friends or a significant other, what would you choose??)
I have learned to just go at everything alone..I figure that is how it going to be..so I may as well adjust, as best I can and learn to cope and problem solve for myself.
Have you noticed that the people who give you advise or tell you not to fret over being alone and that it will get better...all have someone. Think about it.
I wish you luck...but I tell people that you just have to learn to be Ok with not being Ok...or learn to be happy with not being happy.
It is the hand we have been dealt.
