Why do men look at their girl's facial expressions during sex?

Thank you for your serious reply.
It wasn't a complete whole year, we didn't right have sex right away when we dating, but up till now I do still get tense and nervous during sex.
This is what I am questioning myself too. Is why I still get tense during sex? I still can't find myself opening up to this man "emotionally"

I don't know if I am use to his presence around, due to we live in the same neighborhood, or simply is I don't love him at all.
But then that can't be, because I sleep with him, so I must love him somewhat.
But I still get tense, I don't know if that means I don't love him? Or it something wrong with my body, sexually.

But then I read in other Forum, there are posts of marriage couples where their wife still get tense in sex, after like 3 years into marriage.

I do alot for him too, I helps his mom cook and clean when I am over at her place. I give him sex when he initate, even when I am not in the mood, I still give him sex so he can be happy.
I split half half with him on all of our dates, I know he poor, so I put in my own fair share of half the dates.
I help pitch in my own money to buy groccery for his mom. If I can do all these for him, then I must love him somehow.

I don't know, my mind star wondering all kinds of questions as I still can't find myself open up fully to this man, despite we date steady for a year already.
I don't know if the walls inside me is from my childhood abusive mother, or it because I don't love him enough to shut those walls down.
If you read my threads, I am levelheaded, as I can still clearly analytical on his love for me, what he do for me, etc... Then I shouldn't have any problem opening up to him emotionally, I don't know why I just can't :-(

I don't know why I still get tense in sex after one year, but I do get tense. I can't just lie and say that I don't. I don't know what is effecting me, 'emotionally' or maybe my body have problem when itcome to sex.

But my situation can't be that strange, because I read in other Forum, there are posts of marriage couples where their wife still get tense in sex, after like 3 years into marriage.
Like this one post here, I read it from another Forum. I quote their post here

quote: [I still hurts when he is trying to go in! I tense up so badly..weve been married for three years, have a 7 month old dd, what is wrong with me and how can I fix it??? thanks, Grace]

This woman quote (from another board) claim that she still get tense during sex, even after 3 years of marriage and have a baby.
Didn't sond like her husband did something wrong, it must be her body, maybe it how she thinking "mentally" get her body 'physically' tense up during sex.

Have you considered that you just aren't ready for an intimate relationship? Maybe you just need to slow things down and let things develop at your speed, not his or anyone else's.

While doing that, work on yourself. You've got baggage that is probably best unpacked with face to face help of someone trained to do so. It is rare to find anything of substance like that on an internet message board. With someone face to face you can spend your energy looking at what is inside the baggage instead of being distracted with the need to deflect and respond to every poke.

Maybe you need a sex therapist....maybe no one here can help you even if they want to.

My take is more plain - I think you don't think he is the guy for you, now, or forever.

I think a grown woman knows if the problem is a matter of attraction, libido or other....

THANK YOU Butrflynet, thank you for your serious advice.
Your advice is very helpful, and it make me really think.

What you said: "Maybe I am just not ready for an intimate relationship"
This could be, because most of the time in sex, I am giving it to him so he can be HAPPY.
And I do he going way faster than my speed, maybe it is time to tell him slow down. I know we live in the same neighborhood, but there no need to go so fast.

The sex was never about me, it ALL about him, and his needs.
When I am not in the mood, I still give it. When I feel uncomfortable, I still give it. The problem is me, not him. It's me.

It is my emotional chilhood baggage from my abusive mother. And part of it is due to I am sexually inexperience, so it further NOT helping me to realized my feelings for him.

You right, I need to talk to 'Counseling", regarding to my abusive mother. When I can get rid of this of childhood past, then maybe I can have a HEALTHY relationship, because right now my realtionship is not healthy at all.
THANK YOU for your reply, and everyone else.
Happy Holiday to all, God Bless.

Ya you do that, after a year of having sex with a guy announce "I dont think we should do sex anymore". Let me know how that goes.

Why would you want to be rid of part of who you are? The goal should be to get to where it does not control you anymore, in this case does not ruin sex.

You are right hawkeye10,
That is why I keep give him sex whenever he initiate it. I never turn him down on sex because I know he is a guy, and he have his physical needs.
Even when I am not in the mood, I still give him sex to make him happy.

I might have trouble give into him fully on the "emotional" side, given my abusive childhood I experienced from my abusive mother, but I believe I try my best to give him sex whenever he needs it.
So he can't complain that he lacking the physical sex from me!

What I write here are my feelings. He doesn't know any of this. In the relationship, I give him alot of space and freedom to do this own things. I was NEVER clingy type of girlfriend.
But I want to be fair to him, so I said that IF he not happy with the relationship, he can leave anytime he wants. He said I am silly, and thta he not going anywhere.

I know I love him because I get worried if he driving safe on the road when he get out of work late at night.
I worried if he hungry after get off work. He does work night shift/overnight shift sometimes.
So when he get off work in the middle of the night, I still cook him food for him to eat, I know he's hungry and tired.

These are signs of love right? But I just never tell him these feelings I have, I don't know why it so hard for me to say these lovey dovey words to him.
But he must see it from my actions right? Why would a girl wake up in the middle of the night to cook you food if she doesn't love you?
I'm just frustrated! I don't know why I can't find myself express my feelings to him.

He is committed to me and very nice to me, and I think I know why too. Because I accept him for being poor and live in the ghetto, I never judge him on his rough upbringing.
I never ask him to buy me anything or take me anywyhere. I voluntary pays my half on dates, I always pays for my own.
I cook and clean for him, even late at night when he get off work. I still cook him food to eat.
And he get sex from me anytime he wants, whenever he initiate it.

Alot of people say I am very easy on him, and I come across as cheap.
But I know I can't be that cheap if I never use a penny from him.
They say he just string me around until a better girl come along, if that is the case, then let it be.
I am struggling wtih show him my emotions right now, and if he can't accept that, then he should just leave.
Maybe he doesn't case about me show my emotions, as long as he get the physical sex from me.

Is it me or someone else had noticed that independentgirl here is talking about sex repetitiously and seems like she is enjoying talking about it. Same thing post after post 'I give him sex when he wants' and a lot of other same things.
I am finding it strange. Reminds me of Moshi...

I talk about sex because I was reply to "hawkeye10", go read his post. My reply above was directed to him.

I don't know who Moshi is, but I can tell you Moshi can't have this bad English grammars like I do.
And do Moshi talk in this stubborn and defensive tones like I do? I doubt!

And Eliusa, my reply on the top to you was directly at you.
Answering your question in page 4, when you asked me about why I say "Virgins are tense in bed", and you say my Boyfriend must do something wrong since I still get tense in sex.

So I have to reply you that my situatoin can't be that odd, because there are women out there who married after 3 years and still get tense in sex.
All these sex talks are answer the replies that I get. IF I don't get any reply ask about sex, then there nothing related to sex to reply for.

Darling, we ALL can read your replies even if it is not directed at us.
So replying to me doesn't mean I am the only one who can read it, so you don't have to retell your story every time because it seems like you are sex-talk addict.

Because they can only see their own expressions in the reflection from their partner's eyes?

Cute.. :-)

What bothers me most about this thread is that you, girl, feel low for being asian.

She does?

You satisfied him for everything you have and give to him. He gets more attractive to you

I look because when she has a slow leak that's usually the first place you can tell.

Pot, kettle black anyone? Never mind, this should get you moist.

You are such a clown