HELP! Married but fallen for another man

What don't I read? Are you getting back at me because I said to you 10 times that you don't read?
And why can't you leave my idiotic posts ALONE???

Because your stupidity is indispensable for others to learn.....you're actually an asset ....you are the perfect example of stupidity. ;-). Thanks for your contribution .....

Anytime.
You know, you can't hurt happy woman.
Whatever you say I am just laughing because I know
something in you is jealous. Otherwise you would leave me
alone, but nooooooooooooooo

Be frank you are wrong. your husband caring you so much but why are you doind wrong with him. Think about him and give time to him . Love him . sometime we are wrong and when we come in problem then we know who love or care us .

Because your marriage does not work you think you have the right to spread your legs at the first attention/attraction that crosses your path???? I'm sorry, you and all others are always looking for an excuse to commit adultery. How funny..............

That about the dumbest thing I ever heard!!!! SMH

I think this poster may be a child having a thrill.....a troll at best...

I agree!

I hope all is going well for you these days..

If you'd read the thread you'd realize that the OP did not "spread her legs".

Your comments make it clear that you assumed what happened rather than read the thread.

Hopefully you don't react the same way in real life.

It's no excuse.

I agree, it's no excuse.

Embrace yourself, it is not the last one you will hear.

And you just got slammed btw:
@AustrianHunter,

If you'd read the thread you'd realize that the OP did not "spread her legs".

Your comments make it clear that you assumed what happened rather than read the thread.

Hopefully you don't react the same way in real life.
-------------------------------
So?

I agree with you. I understand how hard this can be from personal experience. I'm kind of in the same boat you are. I cheated on my husband 18 years ago (we have been married 22 years in May) and I cheated on him with his cousin countless times but he doesn't know and there is no way I will tell him. I still have a deep connection with his cousin and the last time we were together was about 5 years ago. We still message each other flirtatious stuff quite often. If I could remove any and all contact with the cousin I would but the family is a close one and there will always be some kind of contact with him. It's good you don't have kids, that is at least one thing you don't have to worry about. Maybe try to talk to you husband about feeling like the spark has gone, and see if he thinks something is missing too. Try to find a way to talk about how you fee without all the details. If you don't have to break his heart then you should just keep that to your self. I know some people on here said to come clean with your husband and they will not like what I've said at all. I wont tell mine cause I'm afraid of what he would do, I truly believe he would kill his cousin so telling hi is not an option. You are going to have to make a choice, one way or the other, for yourself. How do you think it would be with the other guy when the new wares off? Good luck in what ever you decide to.

Listen, I am with you (you can read my mess so you know)
However I don't get why would your husband kill his cousin instead of you?
Just wondering.

2 crazy

If you fear your husband would kill his cousin, may I ask why you keep dangling death on his head? You just stated the last time was only 5 years ago, there are taking risks and then taking risks and it appears from what you just wrote, you are taking risks at someone else's expense if you truly believe that would happen.

In addition, if you were not happy into your 4th year of marriage and still not happy by your 18th year obviously you married the wrong person or can't be faithful to one person. You are correct, I think that your husband deserves to know I'd say he's still young enough to find someone that loves him un-conditionally but you know, that's not going to happen. I am sure someone else knows as well other than you and his cousin, nothing remains a secret for ever, let's hope it's not in his lifetime.

It is incorrect to say nothing is hidden forever. I know plenty of people who had been having an affairs for over decade and it is never got out.

I just don't get why would he kill his cousin when there was a woman whom cousin had not raped, she was willingly putting out for the cousin. Why cousin?

I get what you all are saying, I am the one he should be mad at totally get that but reading from stranger that they disagree with my choices does not phase me at all. I didn't post on here for any ones approval. I wish I didn't have feelings for the cousin and have tried for years to get past them, hasn't worked. We can not talk to or see each other for 6 to 8 months or longer but the second we have to because of family stuff it's like nothing has changed and no time has gone by. I can't make my feeling just go away. I know I am going to catch crap for this but I do love my husband other wise I wouldn't care if he got hurt. He is a good man and doesn't deserve to have to deal with the pain I know this would bring him. I have had perfect opportunities to tell it all when I found out he was trying to connect with a girl from his past. But I didn't tell him then because I knew I couldn't undo it later. There is a lot more to the story on that but to much to get into. I'm not looking for "help" on here I just wanted to let people know that there are other people going through the same thing. So judge me, bash me whatever makes you feel better, I don't care. But to the people in the same boat there is folks that understand how you feel

Hey, I do do do understand how you feel and that you are here not for pitty or good advice (because there isn't any) and we all come here because we need to talk but no one we can talk to so we are here. And I am like you are do not give a damn about scolding or hate or misunderstanding of my situation. Nasty is what I want to be least.
I am just very confused when a lot of people here coming after cheating once or for years and saying that they LOVE their spouses.
Now your story becomes even more bizzare in a way that you are basically saying
My husband is wonderful man whom I love dearly and it is a wonderful thing that he was just tried to reconnect with a girl from his past.
You do not love your husband. You settled. Like I am. And I am still worry very much if he gets hurt because he had never hurt me. However if he paid more attention to my needs he wouldn't be in this crap right now (thought he is not aware of anything that is going on). I do care for him and my lover does care about his family. So we are just scratching out heads trying to figure out whats next and every day there is a sigh - 'I don't know' from both of us.
So no judgment here at all, just curious in how people are confused about their own feelings.

feeling are confusing, and even though I can't imagine my life without my husband a lot of the times I feel like my feeling are backwards. And like a lot of people there is so much more to the whole story. Like the way, how and why it all started in the first place. I tried to do the right thing 18 years ago. I went to work where my husband worked cause I hated be apart it was also the place where his cousin worked. Not long after my husband changed jobs and left and that felt like he didn't care. I didn't know many people there except for his cousin and we just became really close. Then to close. The cousin got married a few years later to this girl (they are now divorced) but the weekend before they got engaged he was with me. We have been careful not to say how we feel cause we both know that would make everything harder but we both know how the other feels. we just cant seem to cut all ties with each other, we have tried. He tried when he met the girl he was married to and even though it hurt I stepped back and left him alone. Not long after that he came back to me and I even tried to say no again but ended up back with him. I feel like there are 2 of me The "June Cleaver" one that's married and the one the cousin knows. People say you can't love 2 men and that is just not true. You cant love 2 men like you should, but you can love 2 men. You just love them differently.