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Sat 8 Nov, 2014 12:29 pm
Let me start that we have been together for 7 years and we have an amazing bond and connection like no other. Last year, I seriously didn't know what came over me and therefore, I made a mistake that I DEEPLY regret -- I cheated….
Ever since then, I had never cheated or came CLOSE to cheating and NEVER will. I obviously learned my lesson.
Now he broke up with me because I cheated. I have changed since the year I cheated and he sees that and wants to work things out between us, however, he keeps replaying the image of me and the other guy in his head and that gets him angry and thus, yelling at me to "leave him alone". One day, he tells me he doesnt want to leave me but the next day, he does. He's confused. He also said he wants to be "just friends" but I didn't think it would work. Eventually, I initiated that I'll leave him alone (to respect his decision.. although, he didn't want me to leave him alone).
So now, it's been 8 days so far with no contact. I am starting to worry he won't give me a second chance and all these negative thoughts start to come into my head. I wonder if he's still thinking about me or perhaps, missing me and wanting to get back together. I KNOW we can work things out, but only if he's willing to. I also know that I will be faithful all throughout our relationship (if there will be one).
He also said I've lost his complete trust and that he will trust me again ...in time. I also forgot to mention… he wants to marry me but once he gets past this "anger" stage. I fear that if I give him time… that he will move on and forget about me completely =(
Would you guys give a second chance to a girl who's completely changed (have not cheated since that year and will never do)?
P.S. Because I know what I did was a TRAGIC thing, I have become involved in many things at church and gone to confession. I KNOW for a fact that I will never be unfaithful again. It is not in my book.
@tanyatica,
It might be a good idea for the both of you to get counseling - if he comes around and wants to continue. He needs to find a way to get past things, and the relationship itself would need to get onto a more even keel (otherwise, all you do is walk on eggshells around him, which sucks).
Would I take back someone who cheated? I don't know. But you're not trying to have the relationship with me. The only vote that counts here is his when it comes to that ballot initiative (sorry; I've got Election Day on the brain).
I'm sorry this is happening. But I would think that you're beginning to be served a kind of passive message here. Only you can decide when it becomes a loud enough message that you hear that it's over (if it continues indefinitely). He might come around, sure. It's not unheard of. But I think he's breaking up (again) by inaction.
@jespah,
Yes, I am going to give him some space to think things through and perhaps, to heal and HOPEFULLY get over the pain and hurt and anger.
And yes, he is very passive aggressive. We never physically fight… it was always verbal. He knows that I am too and we both ALWAYS communicate after we fight.
I KNOW in the back of his mind he wants to stay with me, but the thought of me cheating on him makes him want to run away.
He was already in the process of buying me a ring and all… we were THAT serious. He said he still wants to marry me despite all this… but until AFTER he finds trust in me and believes that I have really changed and won't cheat on him again.
Do you think the "no contact" is best for us? Or should we be "just friends" so he can see how I've really changed and to rebuild my trust with him will work?
@tanyatica,
Quote: Let me start that we have been together for 7 years and we have an amazing bond and connection like no other. Last year, I seriously didn't know what came over me and therefore, I made a mistake that I DEEPLY regret -- I cheated….
Ever since then, I had never cheated or came CLOSE to cheating and NEVER will. I obviously learned my lesson.
Now he broke up with me because I cheated. I have changed since the year I cheated and he sees that and wants to work things out between us, however, he keeps replaying the image of me and the other guy in his head and that gets him angry and thus, yelling at me to "leave him alone". One day, he tells me he doesnt want to leave me but the next day, he does. He's confused. He also said he wants to be "just friends" but I didn't think it would work. Eventually, I initiated that I'll leave him alone (to respect his decision.. although, he didn't want me to leave him alone).
So now, it's been 8 days so far with no contact. I am starting to worry he won't give me a second chance and all these negative thoughts start to come into my head. I wonder if he's still thinking about me or perhaps, missing me and wanting to get back together. I KNOW we can work things out, but only if he's willing to. I also know that I will be faithful all throughout our relationship (if there will be one).
He also said I've lost his complete trust and that he will trust me again ...in time. I also forgot to mention… he wants to marry me but once he gets past this "anger" stage. I fear that if I give him time… that he will move on and forget about me completely =(
Would you guys give a second chance to a girl who's completely changed (have not cheated since that year and will never do)?
P.S. Because I know what I did was a TRAGIC thing, I have become involved in many things at church and gone to confession. I KNOW for a fact that I will never be unfaithful again. It is not in my book.
Cheating = Kissing ((both Parties Exchanging tongues In Eachothers mouths, your Tongue In His Mouth His Tongue In Your Mouth)) = sexual Activity ((his Penis Your Mouth, Your Vagina His mouth, His penis Inserted In Your Vagina, His Fingers Inside Your Naked Vagina Your Hands Stroking His naked Penis)) = not true Love
And So I Have This Friend She And Her partner at Work.. Shes Going Through A Lot Feeling No Mercy at Heart for Her Father Having Been Shot In The Head In Front of Her And Her Mother She Still suffering The Loss Of Her Father... Theyre Confronted With A Woman Holding A Knife To A Man Saying He Disgraced a Daughter She Didnt Have my Friend Insists The Woman Giving Her the Knife As the woman proceeds To Walk Toward My Friend Knife In Hand Mentally Forcing Her Partner to Shoot The Woman With The Knife..
The Point I Was Mentally Forced Back Into this hell of Having to Live With My Husband Whom I Had Fell Out Of Love With Year two Thousand Eleven
Not One Seems To Understand How Real The D evil Is
@imimpatientforanswer,
Quote: Cheating = Kissing ((both Parties Exchanging tongues In Eachothers mouths, your Tongue In His Mouth His Tongue In Your Mouth)) = sexual Activity ((his Penis Your Mouth, Your Vagina His mouth, His penis Inserted In Your Vagina, His Fingers Inside Your Naked Vagina Your Hands Stroking His naked Penis)) = not true Love
The Sexual Activity Between both Parties Has to Be Consented/agreed To By Both Otherwise It Is Rape
@tanyatica,
It kind of sounds like you are going to keep hearing about this incident as long as you know him in any kind of relationship. I've no idea if you could live under a microscope forever, or not. I couldn't, but maybe that's just me.
@imimpatientforanswer,
What on God's green Earth do you think you are replying to?
@roger,
Hi roger i kind of cant control my talking to myself whether alone or via social Media How Are You
@imimpatientforanswer,
Thanks for the answer. Feeling kind of mediocre at the moment. Thanks for asking.
@roger,
I think youre stalking me
@tanyatica,
If he can not get over it you do not want him in your life as living with someone who will throw that up for years in the future or not grant you trust going forward is not someone anyone should have as a partner.
Yes indeed it is your fault for cheating but at this point that is beside the point as far as going forward in the relationship is concern.
Off hand it seems far less stressful for you to take the lesson of not cheating to heart and then find another lover that you will not cheat on.
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