CONFUSED

I am engaged to a widow.She has been a widow for 7 years now.when we first met,she told me she has gone thru the healing and grieving process. She talked alot,of her late husband,and still does.she talks a lot of him and the kids ,when he was alive.She talks about how many qualities him and I have in common.
Its been 10 months now,Her ex in-laws are very angry about her excepting me,and starting to build a future, with me.Sometimes,I feel as though I am simply replacing what she is missing,and has been missing in her life.That was suddenly taken away from her.It seems she mite at times compare him(ex)/ and me.
I have at times during open discussions,asked her if she is comparinge ,too him!!!!! she one day took me to the same place he proposed to her!!!
and ,even told me at the time.
After moving in together,to her home,it was about 4 months that went buy,before I asked her if she WS comfortable with his (ex) picture over the bed!!!! I didn't know how to asked her about it without being incensitive for her loss.!!! But, at the same time I felt ,if we are living together and planning on a future??? I felt disrespected, and I felt she was being inconsiderate ........
It has been great at times,and at times a bit hard,.....BUT today I feel,as though she is not as sure as I am about our future.or building one together
I know that a fiirst marriage is not and will not be like the first,for anybody.But,I do think you should both give the same amount of effort into a REALATIONSHIP,especially if your getting married.
I JUST FEEL SHE DOES NOT APPRECIATE,/ LOVE/ CONSIDER / RESPECT !!
ME,because of her actions in the last 3/ 4 months.
PS!!! am I wrong about the picture over bed??? or any of what I'm feeling???
Help me..