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Mon 20 Oct, 2014 04:52 am
Okay so im 14 y/o girl and i live just with my dad because my parents divorced when i wad 3 and he got custody since then. I have a bodyguard since i was 9. Before that, my dad was taking me outside or letting me alone in my neighboorhood with big group of kids and there was always some adult around.
But since i became 9 i have to have a bodyguard with me all the time. I dont understand why, because we arent rich or famous. My dad works in a bar and i go to public school. When i was younger, i didnt mind this but now i do because my friends are joking about it and i have no privacy. This current bodyguard of mine is really boring and weird, he follows me everywhere and stands behind me when we would sit somewhere with friends and looks around like if someone gonna attack me lol. I talked this with dad and he said that its dangerous but how, im not some famous girl, who would come up to me when they dont even know me. Also my friends dont have bodyguards, its dangerous for them too no?
How can i make my dad to not force me to have a bodyguard? He told me that if i go away of the bodyguard, he will find out from the bodyguard and he will ground me. I dont really go away, only this time when i was kissing with a boy and i told the bodyguard to go away and he did on a bit and then when we came home he told my dad. My dad was pissed off, They went to talk in my dads room and then after a while the bodyguard came out scared and pleaded with me to not ask him to go away anymore. Then my dad grounded me 1 week no going out! My dad is usually really nice, he buys me stuff and spends time with me when he can, lets me outside a lot and doesnt tell me to study but when it comes to this, he doesnt want to hear me out.
He goes outside at nights somewhere and then tells me to not leave and i dont, because im on the computer or sleeping. His friends are coming, they always need some help from him and they are weird like my bodyguard, 5-6 of them are calling my dad and telling him that some of their friend needs help, always something happens. I find it unfair because he doesnt let my bodyguard with me then but he takes him and also doesnt let me alone, so basically i miss a lot of night hang outs because of this. What should i do , how to convince him to let me hang out alone?
@EmyUjk,
EmyUjk wrote:
Okay so im 14 y/o girl and i live just with my dad because my parents divorced when i wad 3 and he got custody since then. I have a bodyguard since i was 9. Before that, my dad was taking me outside or letting me alone in my neighboorhood with big group of kids and there was always some adult around.
But since i became 9 i have to have a bodyguard with me all the time. I dont understand why, because we arent rich or famous. My dad works in a bar and i go to public school. When i was younger, i didnt mind this but now i do because my friends are joking about it and i have no privacy. This current bodyguard of mine is really boring and weird, he follows me everywhere and stands behind me when we would sit somewhere with friends and looks around like if someone gonna attack me lol. I talked this with dad and he said that its dangerous but how, im not some famous girl, who would come up to me when they dont even know me. Also my friends dont have bodyguards, its dangerous for them too no?
How can i make my dad to not force me to have a bodyguard? He told me that if i go away of the bodyguard, he will find out from the bodyguard and he will ground me. I dont really go away, only this time when i was kissing with a boy and i told the bodyguard to go away and he did on a bit and then when we came home he told my dad. My dad was pissed off, They went to talk in my dads room and then after a while the bodyguard came out scared and pleaded with me to not ask him to go away anymore. Then my dad grounded me 1 week no going out! My dad is usually really nice, he buys me stuff and spends time with me when he can, lets me outside a lot and doesnt tell me to study but when it comes to this, he doesnt want to hear me out.
He goes outside at nights somewhere and then tells me to not leave and i dont, because im on the computer or sleeping. His friends are coming, they always need some help from him and they are weird like my bodyguard, 5-6 of them are calling my dad and telling him that some of their friend needs help, always something happens. I find it unfair because he doesnt let my bodyguard with me then but he takes him and also doesnt let me alone, so basically i miss a lot of night hang outs because of this. What should i do , how to convince him to let me hang out alone?
Overly protective dad is setting you up for a possible dangerous future. This bodyguard thing can't last for ever and it is setting up your mind for a false security. He won't always be around especially when you are legal to live on your own. Some parents who are overly protective actually make it worse for their children later because they miss out on certain social interactions. When their parent isn't around to protect them the child doesn't know how to react to these situations that arise because they are brand new experiences.
This is what I would explain to him. He cares for your safety but what he doesn't realize is that you are missing the necessary skills to take care of yourself if a situation is not good because the bodyguard can just take over and protect you.
You are missing out on social interactions with other kids because they too are afraid of what the bodyguard will do or react and that makes them pull away from you or not want to be around you because they don't want to get in trouble if the bodyguard narks on them.
There needs to be a balance between safety and freedom. If this balance is not learned at a young age then later in life your coping skills will not be enough and you'll lean towards always needing someone around for you to feel safe because this is what has been implanted into your psychology by your father.
If you understand what I am explaining here, then you can come up with a way to explain this to your father in your own words that will make sense to him so that he can see that by being overly protective he is potentially leaving you defenseless or fearful later in life.
@EmyUjk,
I double and triple what Frank Said
@EmyUjk,
In what country do u live ?
@OmSigDAVID,
David the only thing that come to my mind is that she living in a country such as Trinidad where kidnapping for ransom is an ongoing and big business.
@BillRM,
Or has the surname Corneole.
It's probably the cartel ...
@EmyUjk,
People steal young girls to get money from people like your father who is seemingly a wealthy man. Talk to him. He does this out of concern, love and fear of losing his baby girl. Try to put yourself in dads shoes. Also it is way over kill unless your dad is far more wealthy than I assume. Tell him you need some space!
Jeez dad!
Footnote in some nations like Trinidad even middle class people need to be concern about kidnapping and are in fact concern about it.
I had a co-worker once from that nation and his family with a sightly upper middle class standing was very concern about that risk to themselves.
As I stated it had turn into a business that law enforcement did little about due to complex reasons that would take too long to post about here.
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:
Footnote in some nations like Trinidad even middle class people need to be concern about kidnapping and are in fact concern about it.
I had a co-worker once from that nation and his family with a sightly upper middle class standing was very concern about that risk to themselves.
As I stated it had turn into a business that law enforcement did little about due to complex reasons that would take too long to post about here.
She stated that only famous/rich people have them where she lives.
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