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I need some grammatical correction in this sentence

 
 
KaJe
 
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2014 11:53 am
There is an ancient myth I would like to write about, though my English isn’t perfect. In it, there is a chief who possesses all the fire of the world under his hat. This fire is basically the fire that tree should have contain. (Because trees were thought to contain fire.) This chief is killed, and that is about which I would write the following, but I don’t know if it is correct, or at least it is understandable what I want to say.

He possesses life as such, both as fire and blood. For that very reason, just as one can strike fire forth from woods, similarly and in very accordance with this, they force (out?) much rather blood than fire from the chief.
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 683 • Replies: 7
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dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2014 01:29 pm
@KaJe,
Here's an ancient myth-- though my English is hardly perfect. A chief possesses all the fire of the world under his hat--just as it should according to the notion that all trees contain fire. This chief is killed, with results I'd like to express, but I'm not sure if my version is correct, or at least understandable

(Kaje I'm not sure I [dale] understand the "results" but here goes nothing:)

He possesses life as such, both as fire and blood. For that very reason, just as one can strike fire forth from woods, struck with death we might expect more blood than fire as the flames are left behind in his wood

InfraBlue
 
  2  
Reply Wed 8 Oct, 2014 03:10 pm
@KaJe,
"they force (out?)..."

Who are "they"?
KaJe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Oct, 2014 02:31 am
@dalehileman,
Thank you for trying to understand what I tried to say. I hope maybe you do so again. (Just like anybody else.)
So I try to word better, telling more of the story:
There is a chief who possesses every fire under his hat. There’s no fire outside him, and there’s no life outside him, I mean the people, too, who attack him are actually spirits only. There’s no real people, animals, plants in the world. Blood is the essence of human (and animal) life, and fire is, so to say, the life of trees.
It is said in the myth that these spirit-people attack the chief for the fire, and because it’s a general feature of ancient myths that some characters have dual nature (they are humans and something else at the same time), I think it is so here too, i.e. the chief is like a tree, regarding that the attackers beat him for a long time, I mean it is like one’s lighting fire by beating pieces of woods. However, the result is that he is killed, because his blood flows out.
That is why I say: … just as one can strike fire forth from woods, similarly and in very accordance with this, they force (out?) much rather blood than fire from the chief.
I mean that yes, they get the fire, but I think it is more important for them, for human beings, that they get the essence of human life with the blood.
As for the fire, it doesn’t burn the forest, but these spirit (now living) people grab it (just like a lump of plasticide) and put a bit of it into every tree in the end of the story.
Well, my main problem is the verb “to force out blood” – it was difficult to try a word which works regarding both the act of lighting fire, and beating somebody bloody. And further problem was the whole grammar of the sentence so that this thing would be contained.
KaJe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Oct, 2014 02:32 am
@InfraBlue,
You're right. Please read the answer given to Dalehileman.
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Oct, 2014 10:18 am
@KaJe,
Quote:
Please read the answer given to Dalehileman
Evidently I was on the right track but further subtleties are quite beyond me
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InfraBlue
 
  2  
Reply Thu 9 Oct, 2014 12:48 pm
@KaJe,
KaJe wrote:
Well, my main problem is the verb “to force out blood” – it was difficult to try a word which works regarding both the act of lighting fire, and beating somebody bloody. And further problem was the whole grammar of the sentence so that this thing would be contained.

Thanks for the clarification.

They eject, expel, release, discharge, rather more blood than fire from the chief.
KaJe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Oct, 2014 05:22 pm
@InfraBlue,
Yes, they all seem to be good, thank you!
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