Back after 18 months

She wants you.

You want her...

But you left her for what again? To hang with some people?

Are you serious right now? Do you know how many would die to be this lucky? It's like a movie right now, like everything just works out. Why are you screwing this up. Jesus, some people, I swear.

sounds like you know what is best for you

Yeah, totally Beth. Man, I wish I had the confidence to not go head first to see for myself if a situation is the same, but instead walk to another place for a drink feeling sorry for myself because I can't let old grudges go.

Damn, that confidence is so respectable!

@One Eyed Mind

I thank you for your reply and in some context, yes, I do fully agree with you. Sometimes I see others doing things which don't make sense but then I do them myself!
I in some ways think that once a friend never a boyfriend. Therefore just wanted opionion of others who may have had the same experience as I have now.

Do you generally have some women that are friends, vs girlfriends?

I suggest you to go for her if you love her. Stay friends if you don't.

There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. A. Friend. Zone.

Why don't you give her the benefit of the doubt that she has changed and MAY be ready to be more than just friends with you?

You are not going to ever find out if you don't test her out. You are going to know right away when you ask, "So how is it that you want to have drinks with me? What's up?"

PS - Does she KNOW that you are hesitant to socialize with her because at one time you wanted more and she didn't? There's nothing wrong with letting her know that and that's the reason you stepped back from the "friendshhip." Let her know you will not be teased again. It's too painful for you.

Have you asked her? I mean come clean...tell her you would like to be more than friends and does she feel the same way.

Did she previously when you were in the so-called friend zone, ever lead you to believe you were more than that? Is there a reason you would think she would lead you on even if you were truthful you wanted to date rather than just be friends?

the worst thing that could happen if you come clean -- is she says no I only want you as a friend. At least you would know.

I had the reverse. A guy I really liked as a buddy/friend --- he came out and told me how he really felt. I tried to be as kind as possible, but also honest. He, unfortunately, did not (like it sounds you feel) want to be only friends, although it hurt him, it was better for him to know for sure.

Don't invest much emotionally ...still retain your curiosity..don't invest yet...but being curious is fine.

Thanks for sharing your experience. Yes actually I did tell her that Because she led me to beleive she wants to be more tban friends where actually she just wanted to be friends.

That's why I think that as the first time she told me friends only, so will she say this time. I'm sure You can understand as it happened to you and even if time passes and he reappears into your life you would still want him as a friend. No more. Am I wrong?

But I might give it a try and see her response. If I do I think I will be open from the first this time. I do not wish same thing happens all over. I know 200% positive she enjoys my company and I think she might have missed it.

Stupid question: why don't you want to be friends with her?
I have male friends that are sometimes more valuable than female friends, where is the problem? Unless, you're strictly interested in her as girlfriend
material, then it's probably too painful for you.

I too have a lot of female friends. I have mo problem with that. But I fell for this one in the past and as you said it's painful especially when seeing her with other guys.

Then you should tell her that it's too painful for you to get another rejection from her, so you rather decline her friendship. It's honest and I think she could live with that. If indeed she has changed her mind now and finds you quite desirable, the ball is in her court to admit it.

Yes it actually happened like that. A group of us were good friends (guys and girls) during college. One night my roommate and some of our other friends couldn't go out -- one felt sick; another was working, etc. so it was just me and this one particular guy. So we went to an on-campus event together. Nothing different other than usually there were other friends there.

On the walk back to the dorms, he told me how he felt about me. It was really sweet and I did care for him, but I told me I was sorry I did not feel the same way.

After graduating and out in the working world, we came across each other again and went out to lunch. He sent me flowers and said he still felt the same, I was honest and let him down -- he did not want to remain friends so we lost touch. I am sad about it, but I understand and personally would not want to hurt him further as I care too much for him.

Ask - it can't hurt - if she is vague at all then don't pursue it. I would be afraid she would lead you on. CJ makes an excellent point -- if she really does have different feelings she knows where to find you.