Should i tell her i like her if she has a boyfriend?

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I have known this girl that i like for 4 years and i have liked her for four years, a day hasnt passed where i havent thought about her. In the last 3 months we have became good friends and i like her more than a friend but she has a boyfriend. She has been giving me signs that she likes me such as when at a party she would always sit by me, if i leave the room she would follow, smile at me when we look at each other and when i walk past her she would like touch me to let me know shes there. We text each other every single day both starting the consversation. She has always been asking me to tell her who i like could this mean that she likes me and she wants me to tell her that i like her. Shes does talk to me about her boyfriend in both a postive an negative way about him. But the thing is i dont get is i think she likes me but then she goes off always and seems happy with her boyfriend. Could this be because she does like me and she doesnt think i like her so she doesnt want to ruin her current relationship? Recently she text me saying someone told her that i liked her but she thought they was messing and started to give me reasons why i wouldnt like her. I agreed and said no as i felt it would be awkward telling her by text as i want to tell her face to face. did i do the wrong thing by saying no and did she mean anything else by asking this question such as could she he have wanted me to say yes? what is the right time to tell her that i really like her.

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[+3] - Mary May and Bobby - 10/03/2014Yep. When she doesn't have a boyfriend. lol. There are a FEW exceptions to that but they're just that exceptions. For the most part just keep your feelings to yourself and don't put her in that...

@Johnnsmith,

Johnnsmith wrote:

what is the right time to tell her that i really like her.

when she doesn't have a boyfriend

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@ehBeth,

Quote:

when she doesn't have a boyfriend

Now why should the kid not let her know he is interest in her boyfriend or no boyfriend?

If she was married to some other guy or have a family with some other guy I can see not telling her but why not let her know that she have a guy that would be more then willing to step in if she would break up with her current boyfriend?

1 Reply

@BillRM,

have you not been reading all the threads where people have told their crush that they're interested - and then want to know why things got all weird and awkward

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Quote:

then want to know why things got all weird and awkward

Come on so what as he have zero to lose and the old saying go somewhat like this "faint heart never won the fair lady".

To me taking a chance of being shot down was always better then wondering for the rest of my life what could had been.

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@Johnnsmith,

Yep. When she doesn't have a boyfriend. lol. There are a FEW exceptions to that but they're just that exceptions. For the most part just keep your feelings to yourself and don't put her in that spot, because what's she supposed to say? You're basically forcing her to reject you and if she's a nice, caring girl, it's not a comfortable position to be in.

If she's the kind of girl who wouldn't care whether she had a boyfriend or not before she decided to lead you on, then, why be interested in a girl like that when she'll eventually do that to you too?

So, we're back to the beginning. Don't tell her.

1 Reply

@Mary May and Bobby,

Guys a boyfriend is not a husband or someone that she had likely to have a long term commitment to, such as an engagement, so why the hell should he not tell her???????

If she is not interested that is fine but I still see zero problem with letting her know of his feelings as boyfriends come and go in most women lives.

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@Johnnsmith,

You're thinking I think if you don't say something she will continue and get engaged etc and you'll lose her.

When someone is in a "committed" relationship, it has to run it's course. Be it, that they get married or break up. Taken means taken but I am one to believe that you should be true to yourself and others.

I would simply state to her, "You're a great friend, there are a lot of things I like about you, if you didn't have a boyfriend who knows"....

Leave it at that, as you've basically not committed yourself to stating anything major and on the same accord you've given her food for thought, she can take that paragraph two ways and the ball will be in her court.

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@Johnnsmith,

I'm wondering what the OP thinks the outcome will be:

Him: 'Hey I know you have a boyfriend, but I like you better!"

Her: 'You're interested in me? Oh phew... I got together with my boyfriend because I'm not very into him, but I thought he'd be a placeholder until you found the courage to say something.

Both: 'Who gives a stuff about him, let's get together!!!'

Really?

1 Reply

@vikorr,

Amazing that you people think that he should and there is any benefits at all over him just walking away from the woman due to a boyfriend once more not a husband or the father of her children or .................

If he let her know there is a chance no matter how small for him to have a relationship with the woman and zero if he does what you people are telling him to do.

Hell Angelina Jolie did not let a little detail like Brad Pitt being married to Jennifer Aniston when they first met slow her down.

While there are very clear moral problems with trying to interfere with a marriage I see zero moral problems when it come to just a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship.

So once more zero chance if he follow your advice and some none zero chance if he declare himself.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Quote:

Amazing that you people think that he should and there is any benefits at all over him just walking away

Is that what it's all about? Much of it may have to do with actually saying the words...are they seeking some sort of obligation, or to make the other person feel awkward? Are they happy risking whatever friendship exists?

There's a million ways to let a person know you are interested that does not put either of you in an awkward position. If the other person is interested, they will start returning the signals.

It's certainly a much more considerate way.

1 Reply

@vikorr,

Such as what ways letting her know im interested?

1 Reply

@Johnnsmith,

It's called flirting in most circles. The vast majority of it is about what your body language says. The rest: watch people, watch you tube, read some books, ask for tips from friends etc..and practice (with anyone, good looking, so so, or ugly...what you practice eventually becomes a skill)

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Should i tell her i like her if she has a boyfriend?

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