Reply
Tue 26 Aug, 2014 01:32 am
Hey everybody.
So I met this girl about 3 weeks ago, we have been texting everyday, and we are both texting first.
First meetup: We had been texting for 3 days, and I was just asking her "ironic" that she should come by my place, since she was nearby, she then ended up coming home to me around midnight, it was alittle akward, and we decided to watch a movie, which only lasted like 30 min until we decided to go to bed, but ofcourse we ended up having sex, which happened again once more at night, and once in the morning, before she had to leave.
Second meetup: I asked her a couple of days later if she wanted to meet again, and she said she had plans for the weekend, but she had time next weekend, we ended up eating together at a nearby place, and then straight back to my place, since the weather was really bad, and we decided again to watch a movie, this time we actually watched the whole movie, before we had sex, which happened again once more at night, once in the morning after we showered together and once in the noon before she took home.
So 2 days later, i asked if she wanted to us see eachother again, and she dropped the "im not ready for a serious relationship" and didn't want to give me any false hope, but she still told me, that she want us to see eachother again, but just didn't wanna send the wrong signals.
She broke up with her boyfriend 4-5 month ago, that she had been with for 2-3 years, they had been living together for about half a year.
But I think that 4-5 month is enough time to get over somebody, even though she is not like the usually girls, shes very smart, got almost all top grades at high school, and is attending university next summer, same as the one im attending, at the moment, but a different education, also she's seems pretty popular, im actually surprised that she was willing to see me, after such a short time.
Also she is extremely busy, shes teaching at a school right now as a substitute, and also shes very interested in politics, we are also both working out almost every day.
So we texted abit back and forth, and I told her that, I definitely wanted to see her again, but if relationship was totally off the line, it might not be a good idea for me.
She then replied, that right now, anything more serious then what we are already doing is off the line, but at a time shes gonna be ready a serious relationship again.
I then told her, that we should just let time pass and see what happens, and that we only had known eachother for 3 weeks.
Now: we both have plans the next two weekends, and have decided to see eachother the weekend after, is that a good idea?
Shes 19, and im 20 years old if that helps.
So what exactly is this girl up to? Im definitely thinking of seeing her a third time, but I also don't wanna get to attached to her, if nothing more is going to happen.
So people, what are my options on this one. I tried giving you as much useful details I could possibly think of, but tell me if you need something else, and I will post it ASAP, cause this a straight up emergency!
Excuse me for any grammar mistakes, english is a foreign language to me.
Please help me everybody.
@Emergency93,
By the way, its not that im really into her yet, but I definitely will be, if we continue.
@Emergency93,
Google the term
Friends With Benefits. 'Cause that's where you are, unless you start doing things like, you know, actually going out in public with her.
@jespah,
Might be true, but really the first meetup, was we supposed to out in public at night? and the second time it was raining like hell.
Also we are both pretty busy, so when we get together its mostly just to relax, but yes again, you might be right, should definitely figure something out next time.
Any other thoughts on this? I mean, how affected can you possibly be after a relationship that ended 4-5 month ago?
@Emergency93,
Man, seriously you are in a good situation.
You have no idea to know how much time a person needs to compeltely move on. But she clearly has moved on since she is having sex with a man that she barely knows since 3 weeks ago.
Also she is clealy saying that she wants to continue haviong sex with you, that he does not wants a erious relationship right now but that in the future she may.
Also you describe her as a very interesting girl. Smart, confident, proactive, popular, etc. So why not continue with this? This is an opportunity a clear open door.
Life is full of this kind of adventures. I say: f*ck it! Give it a try!
@Emergency93,
Emergency93 wrote:
But I think that 4-5 month is enough time to get over somebody
I think that is unrealistic thinking on your part. After being in a relationship for a few years, it will take more than a few months to get over the relationship.
She seems to like you, likes sex, and is giving you a chance to spend time with her.
Maybe once she knows you better (don't push this, just be chill) and she's ready to start a new relationship, she might be interested in you for a relationship.
In the meantime, have fun. Get to know her a bit, enjoy the sex.
Hopefully she is someone you can laugh with. My mother always said that was the most important thing.
You guys are 19 and 20. There is absolutely no need to be in a rush to be in a relationship.
I'd suggest the one thing you clarify with her is if it is cool with her if you date other women while you're FWB with her.
Man, I gotta agree with the 2 guys that have responded so far, and I'm a woman.
Looks like you've got someone who is comfortable with her sexuality, is being open and upfront about it, and is nice to watch a movie with to boot.
The only thing that could make this better is if you discover she likes to have burping contents when you're eating pizza and beer.
Dude, you're 20. Enjoy yourself, she is. Just be careful about birth control and STD's. You don't want a little Emergency93 popping up.
@chai2,
Ok, I want to say right up front Emergency93, that I'm not making fun of you. I'm really not. You seem like a good guy.
I was just reading another thread, but this one was in the back of my mind, and I was putting yourself in your shoes, but as the 55 year old woman I am, and started laughing, which caused my husband of 20 plus years to ask me what was so funny, and got him laughing too.
Please help, I've got a man who only comes to my house twice a week for some good sex, then leaves and let's me go on with my life. He's a nice person, and I feel safe having sex with him, and we have safe sex. On top of all that, sometimes we watch a movie first and he brings pizza and beer with him.
How should I tell him that sometimes he should bring subs instead, or sometimes some good burgers?
Haha
you are all making me feel like a fool
We will see where this ends, if anyone else have something to say, please do
@Emergency93,
You're not a fool.
You just don't realize you've got a good thing going on yet.
Enjoy yourself.
You may be her "rebound" man. (That's the term used to describe her behavior) She's testing the waters after being in a relationship for so long. Enjoy it while it happens.
But if she's like you describe, just watching movies is not going to be enough to hold her. The sex may be for a while, but after that, there's got to be more to the relationship.
@PUNKEY,
Okay, will try doing something else then movies ofcourse
@PUNKEY,
Quote:But if she's like you describe, just watching movies is not going to be enough to hold her. The sex may be for a while, but after that, there's got to be more to the relationship.
if you assume that she is lying about not wanting a relationship right now. I see no reason to assume this, this looks like a girl who loves sex and spending time with guys but who does not want a relationship. So long as she is fun and hot she is a dream girl. Most guys would be thrilled to ride her till she changes her mind.
Here is a good test: propose two choices, one something that takes 2-4 hours with no chance of sex happening, the other something that takes a hour at most and sex could happen after. Ask her which one she wants. I am betting she will opt for the one that gets her sex the fastest and with the less investment needed.
@hawkeye10,
True, was thinking about asking her how many guys she has been with since the breakup, but might wait until next time we see eachother.
@Emergency93,
Emergency93 wrote:
True, was thinking about asking her how many guys she has been with since the breakup, but might wait until next time we see eachother.
Why would you do that? There is nothing to gain and everything to lose, you might piss her off. Test her without showing your cards. Women test men all the time, it is smart practice.
@hawkeye10,
Want too see if she is a slut, and if she is, im not interested anything.
What do you suggest with the test?
@Emergency93,
Quote:Want too see if she is a slut,
You have known her for only three weeks and she is already popping over for 12 hour ****-a-thons and you need to ask her if she is a slut?
@hawkeye10,
Haha okay, I want to see how many guys she done it with.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace