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Please help me check this essay grammar.

 
 
Kaitong
 
Reply Sun 24 Aug, 2014 11:44 am
Mother, I like looking out the window in my room.I miss you when we are not together, and I try to find you and look forward to your return.

Since I was born, I have never seen my biological father.Mother would not say anything about him,too.Whenever thought of my father’s departure, I felt that I would never obtain his love and that my life would never be complete.But my mother which have been stucked in my hearts all the time.She makes me feel warm and gives me all her love.I always think mother is a woman who deserves my respect.

After I graduated from junior high school,I came to America with my mother.She helped me find a senior high school for continue my education, and helped us settles down.Since then,we hardly spend any time together and I always alone at home. She rarely comes home for dinner.I often lean on the windowsill and search for her figure.I hope to seeher coming home..Yet for countless nights, she hadn't come home before I went to sleep.

One night,mother was home late and she lies on the sofa.I put a blanket on her so that she won't be sick the next day.Suddenly,I found that there was some blood stain on her shirt and I was worried. After I had a closer look, I saw some peeling on her hand.At that time, I couldn’t even hold my tears anymore because my mother has paid so much for me.Since the day I was born,she has always worked hard so that I can have a better life.I think I should care for her more.

The windowsill is my favorite place to stay because that is the place where I can wait for her to come back home.Mother,I want you to know that I love you so much.You gave me life and taught me to live.Thank you for all of the times that you wiped away my tears, calmed my fears, and helped me by your knowledge.

I’m lucky because I have a selfless mother.From the beginning of my memories, she was always standing by my side,gave me support,confidence and help.Thanks my mother who gave birth to me and brought me up.I gradually felt her sincere love and that for me is beyond compare.I will study hard in my high school so that I can get into a better university and achieve my dream.Deep in my heart, mother is my only the family.I want to use my lifetime to repay and take care of my mother,the woman who loves me the most in the world.


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dalehileman
 
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Reply Sun 24 Aug, 2014 01:45 pm
@Kaitong,
Quote:
Mother, I like looking out the window in my room.
Grammar okay but somehow dangles. One wonders Kait how it applies to missing your mother

Quote:
I miss you when we are not together,
"when we are not together" is redundant, should be omitted

Quote:
and I try to find you and look forward to your return.
Not clear how or why. Maybe this feeling arises, eg, when you're near the window and so you should clarify the connection

Mother, I miss you. In my room alone when I glance out the window I often find myself searching for you. So (it almost goes without saying that) I'm eagerly looking forward to your return


Hope Kait you're successful in your quest but if you expect help of the sort I've provided above, what you're asking is very difficult, tedious, and time consuming. Some if not many a2k'ers resent being asked to do another's homework
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