cheating with boss for 5 months

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I have been cheating with my married boss for five months. It started when we went on a work trip, he texted me to go see him in his hotel room and started very innocent going into his room we talked for a long time and eventually he started making moves kissing me then went into sex. That whole week we spent together telling ourselves everything would stop when we got back home. Needless to say it didn't he made me feel so good even told me he loved me I know he has never done nothing like this before. We decided that we wanted to be together so I started my divorce and he was struggling on how to start his because she had medical issues she was dealing with and he didn't want to upset her while she was going through it. To get to the point he had a talk with her eventually and he decided to try to work things out with her because he was afraid of losing his kid. We talked for a long time and he could not tell me he loved her but he did love me he was just really afraid of not being able to see his child. He ended up telling her he had a affair with me one day before we planned a friendly week long get together for the kids to play and have fun. He decided not to tell me until I made the very long trip to the vacation spot which she was not coming until 2 days later. When I arrived he told me what he did and acted very distant not wanting the kids to play together after telling me that the trip was for the kids so let's let them have fun. So now when I return to work I'm wondering what to expect ? And how do I deal with this knowing that I still have very deep feelings for him I don't want to end up in the bathroom crying all day while he completely ignores me because she said to. I mean I just don't understand how u can be with a person that can't even say you love. That is what bothers me the most and the fact that u can hurt someone that you say you love so much.

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 3,623 • Replies: 27

@ashamed,

Here's what you do.

Update your resume.
Network.
Get a new job.
Forget this selfish jerk and next time find someone who doesn't actively ruin your preexisting relationship by cheating and then, like so many other cheating spouses, doesn't follow through on leaving.

Boss/worker relationships are somewhat similar to physician/patient ones - there is a major power imbalance. Dry your eyes and smell the coffee. It's highly unlikely that you're the first affair in this guy's life and it's equally unlikely that you'd be the last.

I'm sorry. But take it as a learning experience and move on.

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@ashamed,

Quote:

I have been cheating with my married boss for five months.

Why would you, a married woman, cheat with a married man? Sorry, but you (and he) deserve every bit of hurt and pain you are going through right now.

Quote:

because she had medical issues she was dealing with and he didn't want to upset her while she was going through it

Every thread written by a cheating woman here has a line very similar to this one. He loves me but cannot (note, not WILL not, but CANNOT) leave his wife because ______________ (fill in the blank.) Are you too dumb to realize that what he is saying is that you are simply a piece of ass he enjoys screwing on the side but has no intention of messing up his life in order to be with permanently.

So follow Jespah's advice in the previous post and stop screwing around with married men. And I will repeat my usual note here for you to give you something to think about.

IF someone is willing to cheat on their spouse with YOU, what makes you think they would not cheat ON YOU?

1 Reply

@CoastalRat,

Quote:

Are you too dumb to realize that what he is saying is that you are simply a piece of ass he enjoys screwing on the side but has no intention of messing up his life in order to be with permanently.

Yes she is that dumb in fact as she claimed to had filed for divorce on her lover word alone and now is hanging in the wind she is even dumber then that.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

The only one I have sympathy for is the wife. He probably tells her he loves her. Yuk! I bet he has put her through hell. The courts decide if you'll see the child not the ex-wife.. Anyway- I'm pulling for this couple to get back together. They compliment each other perfectly. The wife needs to run fast. So she's ashamed she still has feelings for the married man...how tender. But she's not ashamed of her behavior? Wow..

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@ashamed,

More common scenario: he did not tell his wife and he's not planning on it. He's telling you this so you won't be tempted to tell her. He's telling her he loves her and only her. He's telling you he loves you so you won't get angry and take action against him. He has been having sex with you and he was having sex with her all along. He has put her through hell...pointing out every conceivable deficiency to rationalize his affair with you.

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@ashamed,

What is happening here is that he was opportunistic with you and inadvertently he did end up loving you. This is always a possibility as he is attracted to you for the combination of values he sees in you. Something he was missing at home. Even without medical issues regarding his wife I would say the same relationship deficits would be possible in your boss's circumstance.

The steps made to leave her where appetizing for him given his family situation also. The sudden lack of thrust to leave his wife for you is a realization he is valuing the security and stability of his current love deficit ridden home life. Such sustained pullback is an indication and reality check that he is now not going to risk his current situation. Therefore I'd say he is not in love with you.

Admiration is sometimes referenced as love, but if people don't leave their current dissatisfaction then the real meaning of love is not evident. I've published and defined Love is a combination of values realized which are not replaceable. His current relationship isn't replaceable on my best comprehension of your question. For you it was a catalyst to realize you had to move on. I wouldn't look back on your prior relationship either. Your realization of absent love was made with action.

The prospects of a relationship with your boss are formed already. A negative outlook. So what is formed in my response to you is don't go back to your husband and don't continue with the boss. Unless of course , like the boss you value security and companionship even though love is lost.

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If you gurus know, please, tell me why men supposed to lie to a woman who is already willingly cheating with him that he LOVES her and will leave his wife?
I can understand he can find dummy who he want to bang and as a luring thing to say 'well be together'. But if she is already there in the sack??? WHY to lie?

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

why do they keep lying? to keep them around as someone to ****

women do the same thing

it's not rocket science. tell them you love them - that's a pretty reliable way to get someone to **** you

it doesn't matter if you're 14, 40 or 75 - it works the same way

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

She is already there. He didn't have to lie.
Or how does it go? 'If you aren't going to tell me you love me - I am not sleeping with you anymore?'

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@Eliusa,

yeah that's pretty standard

the lure of love is handy for keeping the ******* going

not a lot of people are willing to be honest about it just being about the *******

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@ehBeth,

LOL. I guess you are right.

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@Germlat,

Quote:

The only one I have sympathy for is the wife.

You forgotten her husband also.

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@BillRM,

I am pretty sure she fell into bosses bed because her husband wasn't a great...husband. Women don't leave good husbands.

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@Eliusa,

Quote:

I am pretty sure she fell into bosses bed because her husband wasn't a great...husband. Women don't leave good husbands.

An men do not cheat on great wives???????

She was likely thinking of upgrading to a more successful man that does not mean however that her husband was not a "good" and "loving" husband however.

I have a friend who wife let him to upgrade financially and it always amused him that she ended up cutting her own throat as her new lover ended up in bankruptcy court and he ended up owning a paving company worth a few millions dollars.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Men do cheat on a great wives!
Because men think they allowed because they cheat with their dick not with their brain which is a bullshit!

And about your friend - she might be happier with bankrupt than she would with paving company. Who says she cut her throat? Did she tell him that?
No, you are just assuming...as a man would do.
You will never admit you can be bad in bed!

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Quote:

You will never admit you can be bad in bed!

Well never been in bed with him so I can not express an opinion on how good or bad he might be however repeat however no one held a gun to her head to take married vows so good or bad in bed is kind of beside the point as far as cheating go.

Her sampling of others men sexual talents should had happen before marriage not after being married.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

No, I didn't forget about the ex-husband. In my opinion he got lucky since they're divorced. He no longer has to come home to a tramp.

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@Eliusa,

That's why you won't leave yours?

1 Reply

@BillRM,

'Sampling' of other men is not a guarantee of having a good sex afterwards.
Men do become lazy and unable you know. Or boring.
Also women sometimes falling in love with person, not sexual object and when younger it seems that life is good as long as you love him as a person.
But time goes and makes you realize you are underfucked!

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cheating with boss for 5 months

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