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Tue 5 Aug, 2014 01:58 am
No judgment please! My husband and I have been talking dirty allot while making love. A few wks ago I mentioned I fantasized about being with a woman, even had a few dreams about it. We since have talked in depth about finding someone for me to experiment with. A few days later while making love, talking dirty, he told me me had thoughts about what it's like for a woman to give a bj and to have anal sex. We have talked a lot about this so that I clearly understand it's not about the man..only the penis. He is not attracted to men but would like to try giving a bj and receiving anal sex. I have googled and read SEVERAL things about this and believe it or not it's common for men to have these thoughts. I even found a study that said 98% of men have these thoughts but don't admit it. I do not believe my husband is gay at all, I've read allot on signs of men being gay and he didn't fit any of the criteria of being a gay or bi man. My husband said he would like to experiment this with me participating but never would for fear of ruining our marriage. I just don't know how to feel about this! Why is it ok for me to experiment with a woman but I can't imagine him doing this with a man. He wants to feel a penis go from soft to hard in his mouth and rcv anal sex but does not want to give it.
Please, without being hateful or judgmental please help me to understand this! Thanks in advance!
@kadybugg77,
I'm scratching my head trying to figure out the mechanics. Because if he is giving a BJ and receiving anal sex then it's three guys. So you are, uh, holding the camera? I'm trying to figure out where you are in the grand scheme of things.
Why do you think you have to ACT on every fantasy?
There are "love tools" for every desire. Explore that first.
Bringing partners into the marriage bed never works, IMHO.
@jespah,
jespah wrote:
I'm scratching my head trying to figure out the mechanics. Because if he is giving a BJ and receiving anal sex then it's three guys. So you are, uh, holding the camera? I'm trying to figure out where you are in the grand scheme of things.
Maybe she's the one wearing a strap on?
chai (hey don't ask me, I've never done it) tea
@jespah,
Jespah wroteQuote:I'm trying to figure out where you are in the grand scheme of things.
Why, in the kitchen of course.
@jespah,
Sammiches!, ah come on, a casserole at least.
Them poor men need to keep their strength up, among other things.
@eurocelticyankee,
Sammiches while the casserole's in the oven.
@jespah,
Jespah wrote
Quote:Sammiches while the casserole's in the oven.
I'm wiping a tear from my eye .... you're a role model for women everywhere.
@eurocelticyankee,
I brought a peanut butter pie and brownies for dessert!
It's from my Alice B. Toklas cook book.
@jespah,
Also available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.
Ask about our Early Bird Discounts!
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
I brought a peanut butter pie and brownies for dessert!
It's from my Alice B. Toklas cook book.
Ohhh...you better be careful wit dem!
@jespah,
jespah wrote:
I'm scratching my head trying to figure out the mechanics. Because if he is giving a BJ and receiving anal sex then it's three guys. So you are, uh, holding the camera? I'm trying to figure out where you are in the grand scheme of things.
Your assumption is that the BJ and anal sex are simultaneous. I believe the OP assumed that they would be
seriatim.
@joefromchicago,
Ah, that makes more sense, thanks.
@kadybugg77,
kadybugg77 wrote:Why is it ok for me to experiment with a woman but I can't imagine him doing this with a man.
Because you have a double standard? Because you can't overcome your jealousy or possessiveness? Because you have an innate disgust for male homosexuality? Because you have a limited imagination? We can't really know why you feel the way you feel. At most, we can give you some advice on dealing with the feelings that you have.
Maybe you could try doing that with a she-male? Like that your man would know what it feels to do these things, and you would not feel too concerned about him turning gay... just a thought.
@kadybugg77,
Don't know if you'll get this as was a long time ago but it isn't ok for you to want to and he can't, I'm not judging you but his fantasises and desires are no different from yours. If I'm honest I Think this is more difficult for blokes because of stigmas but I can say with honesty there are many many 'straight' men out there who have or would do certain things. My view is its normal. I don't believe you have to be gay to be attracted or do things with another guy unless that is exclusively your life I.e. Emotionally, physically, sexually 100%. If you can't let him feel that way and be open to it, may I politely suggest you shouldn't ask the sa,e of him, you're equal! I wish you the best!
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