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paragraph about my weakness and strength.

 
 
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 10:59 am
Hi every body, Please help me to correct this following paragraph.
Thanks,


In this following paragraph I am going to show you about my strengths and weaknesses. I believe that life is a learning experience and being able to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses can help us become better individuals in anything we choose to do, whether it is positive abilities and skills that can help achieve our goals or negative personal areas that need improvement. One of my greatest strengths at school that I have recognized would have to be my ability to be a well-organized individual. I tend to write what I have to do down on paper and prioritize what is more important to least important. In doing this, it helps me organize and accomplish my work and meet deadlines that are important. Moreover, I am a good leader. I am an active class monitor who always motivates my classmate to study by organizing the class study group. I always lead my classmate to the right way. In my Learning team, my personal strength is having good communication skills. I meet and get involved with new people every day whether it be work or school related. I enjoy speaking, listening and giving input to my team members so that they are aware that they can count on me to participate as a team player in our Learning Team. I am also good at communication with the lecturers that can make the lecturer and the students in the class are more active in studying. A personal strength that I have at home is helpful. I always help my mum to do all the house works and selling fried banana. I would like to see my mum relax from her busy tasks so I always cook, clean the house and wash cloth. When I have free time from school, I usually take fried banana to sell at the near village. I help my mum as much as I can. Came with my strengths above, I also have few weaknesses. The weakness that I have at home is selfish. I’m so strict with my relatives and neighbors. Since I was young, I do not like sharing what I have like food, cake or money with them. But I recognize that now i am learning to be a generous and open mind. One more weakness that I have at school is too much proud. Sometime I feel that I am a smart student so I don’t pay attention to teacher. I like to think that I know everything so i will review it at home later. I am trying to change this bad habit since I have noted my score is fall down. I strongly believe that I can improve theses weaknesses to be my strength.
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cicerone imposter
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:09 am
@sreynoch,
The following sentences needs some rework,
Quote:
"I am also good at communication with the lecturers that can make the lecturer and the students in the class are more active in studying." and " Came with my strengths above, I also have few weaknesses."
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:16 am
@sreynoch,
I've crossed out or otherwise marked up the first half of your essay, okay?

sreynoch wrote:

In this following paragraph I am going to show you about my strengths and weaknesses. I believe that {this is a runon sentence; break it down} Llife is a learning experience. and bBeing able to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses can help us become better individuals in anything we choose to do, whether it is positive abilities and skills that can help achieve our goals or negative personal areas that need improvement.{start a new paragraph here}One of my greatest strengths at school that I have recognized would have to beis my ability to be a well-organized individual. I tend to write what I have to do down on paper and prioritize what is more important to least important. In doing this, it helps me organize andto accomplish my work and meet deadlines that are important. {new paragraph again}Moreover, I am a good leader. I am an active class monitor who always motivates my classmate to study by organizing the class study group. {this sentence is unclear}I always lead my classmate to the right way. In my Learning team, my personal strength is having good communication skills. I meet and get involved with new people every day whether it be work or school related. I enjoy speaking, listening and giving input to my team members so that they are aware that they can count on me to participate as a team player in our Learning Team. I am also good at communication with the lecturers that can make the lecturer and the students in the class are more active in studying. A personal strength that I have at home is helpful. I always help my mum to do all the house works and selling fried banana. I would like to see my mum relax from her busy tasks so I always cook, clean the house and wash cloth. When I have free time from school, I usually take fried banana to sell at the near village. I help my mum as much as I can. Came with my strengths above, I also have few weaknesses. The weakness that I have at home is selfish. I’m so strict with my relatives and neighbors. Since I was young, I do not like sharing what I have like food, cake or money with them. But I recognize that now i am learning to be a generous and open mind. One more weakness that I have at school is too much proud. Sometime I feel that I am a smart student so I don’t pay attention to teacher. I like to think that I know everything so i will review it at home later. I am trying to change this bad habit since I have noted my score is fall down. I strongly believe that I can improve theses weaknesses to be my strength.


Similar with the remainder - you keep saying "I know this is my strength" and things like that. Don't. If you didn't know it, you wouldn't be writing it. Just say, "My strength is" or something like that.

Also, for the last three lines or so, your grammar falls apart. E. g. "I have noted my score is fall down." That's not proper English. You should instead write something like "I have noticed my grades dropping."
0 Replies
 
sreynoch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:23 am
@cicerone imposter,
Thank you so much for your help. Smile
cicerone imposter
 
  2  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:31 am
@sreynoch,
jespah covered it more thoroughly than I; use her suggestions to improve your grammar.
0 Replies
 
 

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