MY WIFE HAS BEEN CHEATING . . .

Oh wow, that has to be ruff.

Grrrrrrrrrrr . . .

That really bites.

Is this German Shepherd six foot four, blond and smelling slightly of sheep dip?

You know this guy ? ! ? ! ?

Relations with my wife took a turn for the worse when i decided to express my own, personal fashion sense. For example, determined to return to the classic looks of days gone by, today i'm wearing a stunning outfit. I have on an ankle-length petticoat so pale pink that it's almost white. Over that, i'm wearing a pale pink petticoat which is three inches shorter, then a light pink petticoat three inches shorter, then a pink petticoat three inches shorter, and finally, a hot pink petticoat, three inches shorter. Over the petticoats i'm wearing a burgundy skirt in light wool which comes to just below the knees, and a burgundy tunic in light wool embroidered with gold thread at the hem and the cuffs and the throat with a pattern of vines and trumpet flowers. Do you think she's just jealous?

Hubba hubba Wanna go have coffee sometime?

Masher!

I'm pretty sure it's Manfred, who emigrated to Canada after being driven out of Berlin back in the 80's.
Apparently he used to go to a disco and round up all the frauleins simply by whistling and shouting the German equivalent of "COME BY!"

He once corralled fifteen dancing housewifes, complete with handbags, during a single playing of a non extended version of "Staying Alive".

You can tell if it's him or not by checking his back pockets. Whistle in one, packet of contradicitves in the other.

I call bullshiznit. It's too darn hot for petticoats.

As for that, you now must suffer through this.

Oh that's arf-full

ummmm, petty coat junction. Sounds like about spot on!

Yeah, they had a howling good time.

OK, OK . . . you're right to call bullshit . . . it's too hot to wear one petticoat, let alone five. But really . . . a boy can dream, can't he?