my boyfriend has been lying for 3 years.

The lying for one!! The lack of care for her feelings second.

Lying? He was not lying to her about having a wife that he was no longer in a married relationship to. He is openly living with her and his wife is openly living with her boyfriend.

Not a case of a man stringing along a mistress concerning leaving his wife and divorcing her now is it? There seems no question that he will file for divorce when he is ready to do so assuming his wife does not do so first.

He hurt the woman feelings by not allowing her to force him to take a legal step he was not ready to take for whatever reason?????????

To me he would be better off kicking her to the curve for pressuring him when he is dealing with the emotional endings of a marriage that had a child in it.

I did not have the problem of having children with my first wife but the whole turmoil of my first marriage failure almost cause me to have a nerve breakdown and it took years to begin to recover and decades repeat decades before I was willing to try again.

Everyone recover at their own rate but him having a woman trying to hurry that process along is something he should not need to deal with.

You make a good point. Thank you for your input. I guess my issue is more with the perpetuated lie. Why not just tell me the truth from the get go instead of piling one lie on top of another? Instead of leading me to believe something that simply wasn't true.

Not necessarily "change" as our relationship is already pretty great. Again, it is not the fact that he is still married, it is that he lied about it repeatedly. he didn't respect me enough to be truthful from the start. It feels a little humiliating that he "got one over on me" even though that probably wasn't his intention. His intention, to me, seems very selfish.

I am not looking to get married now or anytime soon. Although, he has brought up marriage and he even bought a ring almost 2 years ago! He says he is THAT sure we will be married someday. He knows I am not in any kind of hurry for anything like that. We live together. That's great with me.

I see where you are coming from and I appreciate you voicing your opinion. You bring up some good points. Points I will be discussing with him. I have been very calm and not pushy throughout all of this with him because that is just my demeanor but when I hear excuses like "I don't know" or "laziness and stupidity" well...I just lose my marbles. So, to hear what you have had to say brings new light to what seemed a very dark situation.
Again, it is the perpetuated lie that has me up in arms, not the fact that he is not yet divorced.

The thing is that I've asked him many times throughout our relationship how things were going with the divorce. I've asked if there was anything I could do to help him through. Having gone through it myself several years earlier, I knew how difficult it was. He would just tell me she was not in full agreement about certain issues so it was going to drag out longer. Other excuses followed. I cannot stress enough that the hurt stems from the ever growing pile of lies NOT the fact that he is not yet divorced. You cannot grow a relationship with lies and mistrust. I want to be forgiving. I want to not let this eat away at me. I want to believe him again.

I'm not sure how a relationship with one partner lying consistently for three years can be great.

But, if you think it was great as it was, why did it matter if he was divorced or not?

can you see that these two posts don't make a lot of sense together?

In a previous post I stated that the relationship is everything I want except THAT.

I don't see that. My questioning was coming from a place of concern. I know how ugly divorce can get. I wanted to be supportive.

Why does it matter if he is divorced?

I will list some possibilities laura w:

>> HE IS LIEING WANTING YOU TO THINK HE IS A POS

>> he's playing games with your head

>> he wants you to fall completely in love with him

>> he's wanting his female friend of a couple years to think of him as a pos for having you post as mentioned but he's not fooling anyone

>> he has no idea what he's done at the same time he's not wanting to feel ashamed about anything

He needs to understand he can't keep anything from the Lord Jesus Christ. The secrets of his heart will be revealed on judgment day, just as your, my, and everyone else's.

The neverending feelings of sorrow = hell

You think this is hell? Wait until after you pass on to the next life.

It is important to repent. Ask the Lord into your heart and as your savior. The Lord Jesus Christ is love. Nothing but love. Jesus Christ is not critical, he will not criticize you or anyone. The Lord Christ loves you no matter what. Ask forgiveness. Repent. Ask the Lord to be your savior. Love unconditionally as the Lord loves. The Lord Jesus Christ's love is like no other. So beautiful it is.

>> It's all in your head, love.

Because his wife won't let him come out to play when she wants him to.

???????

She is living with the woman husband in another state for years while the wife is living with her boyfriend.

we know that's not the case

I know nuh-think (me and Sgt Schultz)