Reply
Sat 19 Apr, 2014 07:20 am
Hi I am new in this forum and the only reason i am writing is because i need to let it out....need to speak with somebody about it..... I am married since 7 years and recently i have started to see somebody else..... You see i am not currently in my country I am in uk for work and i have been away from my family since sept. I have stared to see this guy which he is working for the person i am looking after....he is funny, sexy and older than me.....at first i have stared to look at him and i felt embarrassed because i thought maybe he will notice that i look at him in different way.....so i have avoid him as much as i could ..but then in December he called at the house, asking me to take me out for a drink, i have been thinking of him a lot and when he asked me out i could not refuse....so i told him i have to think about it and let him know.
The month before his call, i went back home to visit my husband and found on his mobile a message on which he was planning to visit another girl in my own country capital, i confronted him and he denied ....you know all the bull....t that man know how to invent, but the surprise for me was that this time it didn't hurt me actually i was thinking you know what i really had enough about all this ****......unfortunately is not the fist time my husband cheated on me, and every time i come out destroyed but i always do my best to forgive him, except the last time which was around 2 years ago, that time i tried all my best to forgive him but something changed inside me, and since then i don't feel the same....
....So when this english guy asked me out i first i wasn't sure about it .....but then i accept his invitation, i thought will be one off, also because this guy is well known as player...... So i though why not, i wont gate involved, So we went on a first date, and i had a really great time, he actually was really funny a real gentlemen, he made an effort to take me somewhere really nice to impress me, i thought was really nice from him, so we had a very good evening and we hand up to his place, he was very sweet and caring. Then i though that's it he wont call me anymore, but then the week after he text me, short simple text, he asked if was up to see him, and i went, anyway now i saw him already 5/6 times and every time i feel great when i am with him, but i know that for him is just sex, also he never call me and when i call him most of the times he doesn't answer, but reply with a text message, asking me when i am off so that we can arrange an evening, when we see each other he is very sweet and we go out for a meal, we chat, but during the week sometimes also for 2 week i don't receive not even a text message, what i repeat to myself is that this is was i wanted from start but now is like i can't control my feelings, i cant stop to feel disappointed when i see that he doesn't answer the phone or call me back..... Plus strangely i don't feel guilty at all about my husband which is really strange for me, i never cheated in my life and i though that at list i will feel guilty.....but not!!!!! At first i wanted to cheat and tell him so that he will feel how i felt for many times, but after thinking a lot, i arrived to the conclusion that at the moment i wont tell him, but when i will finish to work in the uk and i will return to my country i will tell him, and then confront the situation and see what i have to do......All this situation made me so confuse and i am always stressed!!!!
Especially this easter week end which this guy yesterday he text me telling me that he will be away for the week end, and i think is away with another girl, but every time i asked him if he has a girlfriend or if he see anybody in particular he answer that he is single.
I know i shouldn't be jealous because i am not in a position to be, but at list he know my situation so why lying to me he should let me know if he have somebody in his life, without lying, then i think .....well i have a reason for what i am doing ( even if its wrong) but what about him, if he have a girlfriend what is the reasons of cheating on her. I only wanted to enjoy this experience without getting involved, just to take the good side, but i haven't been able and know i don't know how to come out of it, because i spend days and evening just thinking and been upset......what hell is wrong with me!!!!!! Plus sometimes i think maybe he care about me, because when we are together is very sensible and sweet !!!!! Plus every time the person i am working for sees him, he always ask about how i am, how i am doing... Please advice me!!!!!!
This prize is helping you cheat on your husband. Why should you care why he cheats on his girlfriend? If he has one, he does. If he doesn't, then he's still complicit in your affair. Maybe think how awesomely moral and righteous he is by doing that.
And maybe think about ending your own marriage. You and your husband are clearly unhappy.
@Swetty14,
When I read your post I could not help but think of the woman that I once work with who husband was a political prisoner for around twenty years in Cuba.
She stay loyal to him over all those years/decades and resumed her marriage once he was released and joined her in Miami.
Of course she did not need to worry about him cheating on her at least with a woman but still only a few months apart and you are looking for a reason/excused to join him in being a cheater.
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:She stay loyal to him over all those years/decades and resumed her marriage once he was released and joined her in Miami.
Of course she did not need to worry about him cheating on her at least with a woman
Her... Honey, welcome home! Let's make love!
Him... OK, but could you turn over onto your front? I've been in jail a long time!
@BillRM,
Yes you are right..... But i didn't need to find an excuse ....only that sometimes when you are hurt you want to make the other person feel how he made y feel so many ...... To understand what you been threw..... With the difference that in my case i been stupid twice because it didn't turn up how i expected, i mean just a revenge and that's it, but it turn up that now i am more confuse than before!!!!!!
@Swetty14,
Stop playing games with yourself either get a divorce and move on as a single woman or focus on saving your married.
No reason to be confused as going down the road of if he cheated on me I will cheated on him is not helpful in any manner.
@Swetty14,
The guy is good, he has you hooked. His lack of attention is something you seek and want. The fact that you are unsure that he is seeing other women increases the desire you have for him. If he is seeing other women he must be desirable. You are caught up on all these little elements because you want what you don't have. When you are with him, he is very attentive and entertaining because that makes you want him more when he is not around. It makes you feel like you are dull without him. What if he is seeing other women? What if he is married too?
I think you are putting yourself in a bad situation. Not saying you are doing bad things. Personally I think the concept of marriage is obsolete and there is nothing we do as humans that we want to keep doing our entire lives. So why should our relationships be permanent? I think it is perfectly fine to break off a relationship even if you are married, if you are not happy. No sense in forcing something that is not working.
But I think this new guy is creating a void in you because of his method. If he was really into you, he wouldn't leave you hanging that much. He is purposely setting you up to be carried along so that "if" he is seeing other women that you'll always say yes when he decides it's your turn.
I mean I could be wrong. But a lot of the signs are there that he could possibly be seeing someone else or he is married. I wouldn't emotionally invest any more into him until you can determine that. Unless you really don't care if he is seeing anyone else. But if you do continue to get emotionally wrapped up, you could find yourself in a worse position later. But I'm pretty sure you know that already.
@Krumple,
Thank you for your reply, the more i read it and strangely make more sense even if i know is all wrong, the funny side( actually not that funny for me) is that i liberally put myself in this situation, believing that i will be able to handle it, i could i have think of this!!!! I didn't have much experience in relationship, i have been with my husband for 14 years, and believe it or not he is been the reason of my life till recently, to be with him i went against all my family and friends, but thinks changed a lot since 2 years, and also i think this is also the reason i could have accepted a job ( for a short period) away from him, i wouldn't have been able in the past for me to be away not even more than 2 weeks from him, and now hear i am accepting a job that took me away so far..... So something really changed in me, and for sure i wouldn't have been able to do this in the past, so i know that soon i have to face it and take a decision, i always believed that the threw soon or later always come out, so like i said before is just matter of time, but when i will go back home i have to face my husband( and i know will not be easy) and see what is going to happen.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace