Dating issue - multiple guys.. Help!!

Right, Are you ready for this?

Ok so, I'll try and simplify this down to the basics..
So I was in a long term and partly long distance relationship of 5 years which I recently ended.
The reasons I ended it were because I met someone else who made me realise my true feelings for my long term partner, which were fading, there was no spark left (I know it goes as the relationship progresses) but I just didn't feel anything anymore and nothing physically which definitely doesn't help.. I didn't love him in THAT way anymore.. So I ended the relationship, leaving him heart broken.. Which feels awful, but I can't stay in a relationship I'm not happy in, we tried talking and I went to see him more regularly, but nothing.. We had become to friendly, I saw him more as a brother rather than a boyfriend..

I wanted to be young free and single, I'm 21 and had been in this relationship since I just turned 16!! I haven't had any life experiences, I wanted to have fun!

So this other guy I met, we were both introduced to each other as both having a boyfriend (me) and him, a girlfriend..
We were just talking and we got on really well, like we'd known each other years!
I was out with the girls this night, and we got a couple of hotel rooms, he then came back with us because he thought his hotel was next to ours.. But it wasn't.
He tried things on with me, and I refused, he slept on the sofa bed in the room, me and my friend in the bed.
The next morning, after my friend had gone home, we were in the hotel together until checkout, again it was really relaxed and fun, nothing happened, although he tried. A lot.
Check out time came, and I dropped him off back to his hotel where his friends were staying..
So I went home and slept and just relaxed most of the day cause it was a late night out before..
That evening, I messaged him to say hi, we started talking and he mentioned he was still at the hotel for another night and was going out again.. To cut it short, I ended up going back up to see him, although I knew it was wrong as I still had a boyfriend and he still had a girlfriend.. I specially said to him 'no funny business' but thinking about it, why the hell did I go if I really meant that!??

So we stayed the night, and yes everything happened and I went home again in the morning, still messaging each other..
This is what weirds me out.. I didn't feel guilty. At all.
Now I'm starting to think about how I actual feel about my boyfriend.. I didn't love him anymore.. Am I falling for this new guy?! After only a few times of meeting? And after all, if I did love my boyfriend, I wouldn't of done this in the first place.

Now, his current relationship was a little wobbly previously, what he had told me, and he suspected his girlfriend of cheating on him, but being a guy, didn't really elaborate, and it didn't want to ask to much..
A few days later, he told me they had broken up. He was upset, but still said he wanted to be with me.
He's in the army and stays away in different places of the country most of the time so we haven't had a chance to meet again until in a few weeks when we arranged something.

The day came when we were going to meet up again, and just 20 minutes or so before I got to the meeting point, he cancelled. Saying a family remember was ill and he had to go home immediately. (Very annoying, but I was accepting of the situation and I do believe that he was being genuine, although at first seems very suspicious!)

So that weekend passed, and so did another, we had hoped to meet again, but due to his job, he was unexpectedly scheduled to be moved to another part of the country.. Even further away and he told me quite frankly that the chances of us meeting again were 'very slim'. I was so disappointed that we had never got to meet up again, we had been texting every day, speaking on the phone and video calls..
Because I was still with my boyfriend, he said he felt very guilty and that this wasn't right. Yes he was right.
I started to feel guilty myself, and I attempted to talk to my boyfriend with no luck, whatever i said just got swept under the carpet, he's very sensitive and I didn't want to be too frank straight away with no warnings.
A few days passed, and he realised what I was trying to say to him, he was now really worried, so I got the train up to see him (he's at Uni in another part of the country) we basically broke up there, but neither of us could admit it. I went home again with him still worried, me feeling the pressure..
About a week later, I messaged him (lame I know, but I really felt like it was the only way I could say anything with him brushing my comments away and disregarding them!!) we argued a bit, and he actually made me angry by the way he was reacting..
My friend was on the phone with me at the time listening with my permission and even she said he was talking to me really rudely.. I know he was just distressed and very upset.
So he came to see me to finalise things and for his peace of mind even though I'd said I didn't want to see him just yet, that got done and we went our separate ways..

I was no longer messaging this other guy since he moved away, I deleted everything about him, but the whole time, even when I was with my boyfriend, I couldn't stop thinking of him.

Oh and just before I broke up with my boyfriend, I had been on another date with a guy I met online (This sounds so messed up and I know, it is, so please don't tell me again!!) he was really nice and I liked him a lot, he was local, a bit older than me, has a job and a car, really sweet and gentlemanly. Nothing like my boyfriend.

After I broke up with my boyfriend, I messaged the other guy from the night out to tell him I'd ended the relationship and to thank him for making me realise my true feelings, he messaged back and gradually on and off for the next few days, we started talking again, it was like before, really relaxed, friendly and flirty.

This helped me to get my mind of the other guy I met on a night out (before I'd messaged him again...
Subsequently, we went on a few more dates, everything was going really well, he came to mine, I cooked dinner and all that.

I don't want a relationship, well at least I didn't think I did. I don't think the guy I met online does either, but I'm not sure. Now I feel like I'm trapped in the dating scene with the guy I met online, and now the guy I met on a night out wants me back and we've arranged to meet up, this time it will happen! I'm not actually in a relationship with the online guy so it doesn't matter does it?
And I'm trying to fade away because I'd rather be with the night out guy.. But now I feel bad for him.

What should I say to him to end the dating thing without hurting him too much?
Do you think it's totally wrong to meet up with the night out guy again? I really like him and can't stop thinking about over anyone else I meet..?