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What should I do? (Break-up advice needed)

 
 
Reply Sat 11 Jan, 2014 03:41 pm
Last week, my girlfriend of four years told me that her and I have been distant. I had a feeling it was due to me being a full-time college student and working a part-time job;however, I still made time to come out and be with her/talk with her on the phone. It had been like that, when she was in school and lived at home like I am now; she said she'd wait for me like I did her. Perhaps it wasn't for her, but the problem was that she never really spilled things out on the table for me--it was always a puzzle for me to put the pieces together myself.

It started when her and I were back at her apartment on New Years Eve. I just picked her up from the airport and knew there was something different about her. She on a week's trip visiting her family, while I was watching her and her sister's cats. I also picked up a side job near her town, so I could use it as gas money to visit her. In addition, I tried giving her space to spend more time with her family, but maybe it came across as something else.

Back at the apartment, she told me with a sad voice and moist eyes that she wasn't sure what she wanted, that she was a people pleaser, and a whole bunch of other things--i'm sure--that she just did not say due to her shyness. It killed me inside, but we then followed talking about our relationship status, It didn't surprise me that we only carried on very briefly, but we did hold each other and kiss (I made the first move, of course...it had been like that for a month....hmm). I helped her clean her apartment and bought her lunch the following day; it seemed like things were okay. When she was about to eat with her sister for dinner, I pack up and asked her about our relationship. She said she would talk to me about it.

A week went by...I texted her...called her...nothing. It took a simple Facebook message to remind her that we needed to talk. She said she'd call me in a minute, but it only took her thirty minutes to call (does she care?) I asked her again, like I did when leaving her apartment, and she responded that it wasn't going to work out, but that she still loved me and wanted to talk to me. I told her that it would be weird and painful to see us move on separately, but the conversion ultimately ended like I thought it would: puzzling. She said she would talk to me Tuesday about getting her spare apartment keys from me, but she never did.

The next night (three days after the phone breakup), l could not sleep. I drove up to Giant Eagle and bought a few items: a bouquet of flowers, three of her favorite candies, and her favorite pop. I drove over, walked into her apartment and sat by the side by her bed telling her that I didn't want this to be over and how much I loved her, how empty I was without her. The only thing that escpaed her mouth was that she needed time to herself and that she still loved me. I couldn't handle the answer she gave, so I left everything I bought her there and her keys by her side. All she wanted to do was sleep.

Do you think she'll contact me again? I know I need to move on, which I've started doing, but I really want some good insight.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 552 • Replies: 3
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Jan, 2014 04:46 pm
She is either depressed or sleep deprived - or you are getting the boot. But she is very inconsistent. She wants it both ways: to see you AND the pushes you away.

Something's wrong here. Since we are only getting your side of the story, I am at a loss.
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 11 Jan, 2014 05:37 pm
@jjmctwigy11,
She sounds depressed.

Try to back off (I know it's not easy). Give her some space. Give her a chance to sort herself out.
cats4kiss
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jan, 2014 02:39 pm
@jespah,
You love her. She likes you, but is not in love with you. You can't make someone love you if they don't. If you follow this path you will make yourself weak, maybe for the rest of your life. Put on some armor and walk away because you never want to be a slave to your feelings. Ask yourself if you can handle just having her for a friend. If not.... walk away
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