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Mon 9 Dec, 2013 01:08 am
This guy (he is my housemate), the first time I met him, I saw his ex-gf pic still on his phone pic gallery(only 1 pic left, album title: sweetheart). So I asked him if he is over his ex more than 3 times on different occasions. Each time he told me, that he is completely over his ex and there is nothing left to reconcile, and he told me that they are just still friends and there is nothing else between them. (His ex-gf never give up getting back with him (they have been friends for 5 years, in a relationship for 1 year and then break up, she text him almost daily and want him back badly even after 7 months from the break up)
When I am with this guy, he always smile when he sees me and always tickle me when he gets to do so. There were 3 times he teased me by acting he wants to kiss me on my lips but each time he pulled back and say that I am really cute and I looked like his baby niece. What he also did is, he raised up his 2 hands to tickle me which looks like he wants to hug me but he did not he just end up tickling me with both hands. He also bites my finger and lightly tasted it with his tongue and then he just pulled back and made a light spitting and complained it is salty. He also rubbed his nose against my nose but did not kiss me at that moment.
Each time we went out, he offers to pays for my everything from USD1~USD30, includes food, CDs, laundry money, theme park ticket, movie ticket, hair salon, I asked him why, he answered me, this is the manly gesture culture in this country. One day, my car battery break down, he fix it and got me a car battery which cost USD60, which I think is expensive, since he is not officially my boyfriend yet, I messaged him how much twice, he didnt reply me with a price. He answered something else which has nothing to tell me about the car battery price. So when I met him at dinner that same night, his face was sour, and he doesnt want to look at me at all for the whole time, we were talking but he never want to look at me. Even when he look at me for a short while, there is no smile at all. Can anyone tell me what is wrong?
That dinner night, I haven't pay him back the battery money because I think he is pissed off. 1 day later, I told him I want to ask him a question to make sure/confirm of something, he came home very late and sounded quite rude in his speech so I didn't ask him that question I wanted to ask, I went to sleep without saying a word or good night to him and he doesn't say a word too.
He is my housemate. 3 days after the above matter happened, he brought his ex-gf into his room and they both slept for the whole day. I knocked on his room door, asked if he has brought his gf and if she is sleeping in his room? I made a small scene at his door but no big drama. Later when I saw his gf in the kitchen dinner, I said hello to her, she just smiled and say nothing back. And I pay that guy back the battery money right in front of her.
What I want to know is, Does he thinks I reject him because I want to pay him back the money? Would you think this is his way of revenge? Or he just have made up his choice?
The next day, he deleted me from facebook and he sounded angry at home even when his gf is not around.
I think you should get another housemate. If it's your apartment, give him notice and ask him to move. If it's not, pack your bags.
Why?
Because you clearly can't figure out the difference between a house mate and a boyfriend, and he's doing you no favors by blurring the lines and in general copping a cheap feel (because you're allowing that, I might add).
I have had opposite-sex house mates and, much like same-sex house mates, they paid their rent, kept their areas clean and didn't eat my food in the fridge. You know, like regular old house mates. They did not hold me down and tickle me or any such nonsense and, when they had girlfriends over, I said hi and socialized with their girlfriends just as they socialized with my boyfriends. You know, like house mates do, not like people who grab ass because they're bored.
@bombombakeai,
Depending on what exactly you messaged him, I'm guessing you somehow questioned his "manhood". No one...NO ONE...should be subjected to a guy who constantly feels the need to prove he is "manly" (I have a guess where he is from, but I'm keeping that one to myself). Not only would you be constantly walking on eggshells to assure you did NOT question said manliness, he would also feel entitled to play "grab ass" with you whenever he pleased (well put by jespah). You know, because he's a manly man, and that's what they do...any form of rejection is simply unmanly.
Agree with jespah. Boot this guy and get a new housemate. But, the cultural variables cannot be overlooked here...not sure where you stand on the whole "role of men and women" question but I think it's pretty clear where your housemate does. I'd be a little concerned about his reaction when and if you DO throw him out, so you probably are going to want to have someone with you when you have that conversation. I know I would, and I'm a guy. If there is a risk beyond that, though (like he comes back in the middle of the night), umm...I'm at a loss there.
@bombombakeai,
Bomb - you got WAY too familiar with a roommate. Shame on him and shame on you.
I suggest that you make arrangements to either move or get him to move and get a female roommate.
@toiletduck,
That's true - support and a witness would be good if the OP has to ask Mr. Grab Ass to leave.
For many countries where male/female relationships would be, let's just say,
problematic for the original poster, a lot of them wouldn't be places where opposite sex house mate situations would even be
possible. But assuming he's overly macho and the parties are in a country where that's not the cultural norm, then the cops can certainly be called if this guy gets overly difficult while being asked to hit the road.
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