Translation Request "when rape is inevitable, lay back and enjoy it"

So my grandfather's favorite adage is "when rape is inevitable, lay back and enjoy it." I come from a family of pragmatists, with an obviously warped sense of humor. I am considering using this in a tattoo sometime in the future and thought putting it in Latin would make it look a little less shocking to the casual observer .

First off, can I get help with a translation? My second question is, how can I put this into a kind of classical Latin script (all caps I'm assuming)? I figure if I can replace some U's with V's, the phrase will be a little more camouflaged for mixed company.

I'd like to share an exploit from my Poppie that might give you a little perspective on his sense of humor and why I might want to use this translation in future. So, Poppie lives in an asisted living facility now with Nana. He's quiet because Alzheimer's disease has made him slower and less confident. My (rather hauty) aunt stopped in to visit while Nana and Poppie were eating a meal in the dining hall. My aunt noticed that Poppie's Depends was showing above his waistline and she started to try to pull up his pants to cover the diaper. My 91 y/o Poppie recoils and cries out RAPE! in the middle of the diners! My aunt must have been HORRIFIED! I rarely get to see my extended family, but I wish I could have been there to see that.

I've had some trouble getting responses from people with this request, so I hope you will respond to this post in the spirit in which it's made. I don't mean to offend anyone and just hope to get an open hearing, before my question gets downvoted, deleted, or flamed. Thanks.