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Fri 20 Dec, 2002 02:48 am
I am suggesting nothing more radical than the rewriting of English literature to encompass themes and styles that the original author never even considered.
To begin, we have the start of Pride and Prejudice:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man
in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."
Now, I HATED that frigging book, I had to study it in High School and it sucked. However, what if it had been rewritten to appeal to a newer audience, one that preferred knock-knock jokes...
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is a truth universally
acknowledged that a single chicken, being possesed of a good fortune
and presented with a good road, must be desirous of crossing".
How would YOU approach the subject, Dashiel Hammett "It must be said, that any Joe with a wad will find himself a skirt", or Chaucer "Tis sayed that Gentlefolk of means must need a goodwife take, with a hey-nonny-onny and a ho-ho-ho".
Franz Kafka:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man
in possession of no fortune but a vivid imagination, not to mention a family that secretly hates him and a boss that despises him, must be in want of a cockroach."
Frederich Niesche:
It is truth universally acknowledged, that a man not in possession of his full mental faculties, and no fortune to speak of since it was taken by unscrupulous members of his immediate family, must be in want not of a wife, but a good guardian ad litum.
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