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Please just tell me your intuion (yes or no): Does the poem sound natural (in English)?

 
 
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 08:14 am
From a Height



Wind keen sky high apes scream mourning

Islet pure sand white birds fly revolving

Without limit falling trees bleakly-bleakly shed

Not exhaustible long river rolling-rolling come

Myriad-li melancholy autumn constantly be traveler

Hundred-years much sickness alone ascend terrace

Difficulties bitter-regrets proliferate frosty temples

Despondent newly stop muddy wine cups
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contrex
 
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Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 08:24 am
It reads like something a machine might produce. Also, "Myriad-li" does not mean anything. (Is it someone's name?) The overall mood is somewhat depressing and gloomy, so if that was the intention then it is successful I suppose.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 08:36 am
@oristarA,
It sounds like nonsense to me, no offense intended.

Intuion? Did you mean intuition? Intuition has nothing to do with comprehending this.
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 08:47 am
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

It reads like something a machine might produce. Also, "Myriad-li" does not mean anything. (Is it someone's name?) The overall mood is somewhat depressing and gloomy, so if that was the intention then it is successful I suppose.



Li - China's "mile"- one li is about 500 meters.
Well, the poem is a failure in your ear except:
The last half of the original Chinese is indeed depressing and gloomy. But the first half of it is powerful and elegant. Because it means:

 The wind so swift and sky so wide,, apes wail and cry;
  Water so clear and beach so white, birds wheel and fly.
  The boundless forest sheds its leaves shower by shower;
  The endless river rolls its waves hour after hour.
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oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 08:48 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

It sounds like nonsense to me, no offense intended.

Intuion? Did you mean intuition? Intuition has nothing to do with comprehending this.


Yes intuition. Typo.

You intuition has denied its nature. Razz
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 09:07 am
@oristarA,
Quote:
You intuition has denied its nature.


Am I to guess the word that you mean is 'your'?

My point is that intuition (mine or anyone else's) is useless tool here. It makes no sense in English.
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 09:43 am
@Ragman,
Ragman wrote:

Quote:
You intuition has denied its nature.


Am I to guess the word that you mean is 'your'?

My point is that intuition (mine or anyone else's) is useless tool here. It makes no sense in English.


Oh useful in my humble opinion.

Your intuition has led you to think that the poem is a mess - senseless in English.
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