Fri 22 Jun, 2012 05:26 pm
About a year ago I went out with a girl for a few months and things got pretty serious. She's really shy and is just a normal girl next door, but when I say shy I mean SHY. She's afraid of driving any distance outside of town (won't go on the interstate at all, prefers others drive, etc) and has issues with the fact her father died when she was 5. She is about 22 and has a little boy and girl from her first real relationship (he's a no good punk from downtown, and does see the kids every once in a while but mostly the boy who was named after him).
Anyways, we mostly texted and she almost never like talked on the phone to me. Seems real quiet and content, but when oissed she will get mean lol called me an asshole one time and that ain't even me. See, I'm the nice guy type who always ended up in the friend zone etc. but over the years I've hardened a bit myself.
Anyways, she isn't much diff than a lot of girls nowadays. She was done wrong and it caused her to close up inside even more. Over the last year we've been apart she's blossomed a bit. She will now try a lil alcohol here and there with family etc (lot of sisters, since their father had remarried before he died and she's the youngest, went to school with one of her sisters). So she's been blossoming, but when we were together she was insanely jealous and controlling--wouldn't allow herself to trust me even with my own friends if they were female, and most Of mine are. I'm a good lookin' guy and a real charmer, a natural flirt and a romantic who's grown tired of doing nice things like candlelit bubble bathes and house cleaning for girls who just real up with me saying I'm too soft or not man enough, too clingy, or emotional. :/ can't help it, I'm a very thoughtful and caring guy who does do manly things like work outside and on cars, ride bikes, and is a true country boy at heart (grew up farming and logging for winter every year, spent majority if my young adulthood at home and helping great grandparents and grandparents including bedpan duty before they died all from cancer).
My point is she became real attached herself and I gave up everything for her love and it won't enough. Deleted all my friends from FB if they were female etc before finally breaking up with her cuz I was smothered and I guess...maybe scared.
Ive been thru some while stuff since including a serious relationship (about 3 months long like all the rest) and a fling for a couple weeks which was the craziest thing I had ever done.
I find myself alone again and...kinda missing her. She's with some guy now, says he's nice and does her good like he oughtta. A long distance trucker. I asked her late night earlier this week when I had a breakdown if she was truly happy and she said no. When I asked why she said bc her heart wasn't where she felt it truly belonged. I asked where that was and she told me I knew where--that's after only seeing each other once in over a year (showed off my new truck one time, we don't have any hard feelings).
She is the kind who wouldn't cheat on u and would stick to ya try thick n thin bc she loves ya...but I broke her heart to pieces. It was the worst feeling ever, too.
Sigh. I dunno what to do. Part of me thinks if she would just accept me as I am and be open to try new things as it seems she's blossoming into...
If I didn't give in and she HAD to accept me or leave me, may e she would accept me. She said she's learned a lot ESP from me about what true love is etc. she said she does love him, but knows how she felt before and what that love felt like...and hopes to get that feeling with him one day.
I dunno what to do. Should I accept her and her two kids and go to her and ask her to be mine again? Or should I let her be and so she can try to continue on and forget me... I don't wanna be a home wrecker and I don't want drama...but I'm so lonely sometimes and there's no one special like that in my life.
Did I have one who maybe needed time to come around and I threw it all away?? I'm afraid of never having it and I'm afraid of getting together and breaking her new life up and then realizing it is t what I want. That I miss out on "the one," even though she might actually be that one.
I told her yesterday we better no talk anymore bc I might say things and start feeling things disrespectful to the new bf. I don't want her to hurt him the way so many girls have hurt me in the past.
What a lot of pain for you.
Please....escape while you can.
Two kids and a kind of childwoman with a very bad case of arrested development. Yipes,
Run, my brother, run.
Joe(dodge the bullet headed at you)Nation
he seems might proud of himself.
What do you mean..?
I'm quite miserable in this predicament and don't understand your response.
If you were a real country boy you'd know how (and why) I used the word proud.