publish your own book

That's only true of one sort of book. It seems to be a book written to make money. Thus we know something very significant about the author before we begin reading it. I'm assuming a book of fiction.

The plan applies just a readily to fashion houses, care homes, beer adverts and just about anything that exhibits design features which are not necessary to the practical functioning of the object.

The book becomes an item coming off a production line. It's manipulative.

An author should read the best books from the past before starting and not one of them had such a plan in mind. They just wanted to have a laugh and were writing down what made them laugh partly to make sure of remembering the jokes and partly to make anybody with a similar sense of humour laugh. In Stendhal's case he said they were "few".

When Henry Miller sat down to write Tropic of Cancer he had no thought for any of those plans. It was a "gob of spit" in the face of the human race. Flaubert was basically amusing himself having discovered that everything else was tiresome. Proust as well.

I haven't worked out yet whether Rider Haggard was taking the piss or exorcising his demons. I think it was the former.

What was Rabelais up to? And Shakespeare? Both were courting extreme danger. The opposite of being on a chat show as filler between the ads.

In a skating programme the performer is required to conduct certain moves. Just so, a writer has to show the same facility with literary devices. A skill which Mr Joyce displayed to such an extent that it is doubtful whether anybody will even try to out do him.

One has to be ready to answer the challenge that you are a salesperson for flattened out wood pulp with ink inserts. With books at the cheap end of the market the wood pulp is contaminated with re-cycled paper bags, egg cartons and out of date newspapers.