Mon 20 Feb, 2012 05:38 am
I'm an average girl, I'm 24, my boyfriend and I have been together for three years and sex was all day everyday it seemed the first 2 years but now it seems to get longer. I LOVE SEX, but I like small quickies, rest, another quickie, so forth. He likes to prolong sex, sometimes even stopping in the middle so that he doesn't ejaculate. I'll look up at the clock and it's another hour later, it's still feeling good very pleasurable, by the feeling starts getting to be regular rather than that "OMG" feeling. I actually have an orgasm as soon as the penis makes contact to my vagina, it doesn't take me like to have one. After a few minutes I'm just not aroused anymore, I'm just waiting for him to get his and go to sleep. What do I do or say to let him know that I just want to have small quickies not have sex forever? I even get to the point where my vagina is very sore the next day or the pit of my stomach cramps really bad.
I've even noticed that if we indulge in foreplay before sex that I don't mine going for a long while, but we usually don't do foreplay anymore, we just get down to it, which I wouldn't mind a little 10 to 30 min playtime session before getting into it...
I hope someone really can help me, because it has gotten to the point where I won't have sex with him because it takes so long for him to do so... I pleasure myself. I don't want it to make an end to our relationship, I love him very much.
have you tried positioning the TV where you can see it during sex?
(be sure and keep the remote under your pillow)
lol... Funny.. Still wouldn't want a sore vagina. Because the next night he will want sex and it will be, too sore... Not a good idea...
Seriously I do need answers.
You need to talk more to your partner.
Tell him exactly what you have told us: You prefer sex less often. (There's no reason why you should have sex when you don't want to)
You need more foreplay and he needs to realize that you climax quickly, so the foreplay needs to bring him right to his edge too.
You need to start communicating to your partner more about this. It sounds like you are passive about your own needs and the satisfaction is all about him. Speak up now and make things right for yourself and stop thinking that he is the only one who needs to be pleased.
As Punkey wrote, communication with your partner is the key. The only thing I can add to Punkey's note is to make sure when you talk with him you do so in such a way that you don't make him feel as though he has been doing something wrong. But rather that for you, it would help if he did things a little differently.
@PUNKEY and CoastalRat, thank you for your advice. I'm just too afraid to say anything... I need to work up the courage to do so. I don't mind having sex everyday, it's just the time length. And normally I have a way with words where I can explain things, but in this situation, that's the thing I don't want him to think that he is doing something wrong or that I'm not being pleasured at all. And I'm thinking if maybe there are things I can change as well, as I said the foreplay makes the experience more awesome and sometimes we even role play which makes it even more pleasurable. Which those are my things and he likes to get straight to it, I'm wondering also if there may be a common ground that partakes to both of our ideas....
I think you both probably have a lot to learn and you could learn it together.
You being uninterested after you have been penetrated and had the wow is you being without the information that things can progress from there. The fact that they don't progress is because he doesn't know how to get you there since you have vacated and you are reasonably bored with the efforts.
You both could read some books, maybe together. You may have a gem of a lover.
I'll go with Osso on this one - bring home some books. It's usually not offensive, especially if you introduce it as 'I was hoping we could... / introduce some new things / try some kinky things / experiment a little... these are of course only ways to bring up what you really want to talk about.
Personally to me, it sounds like you are REALLY attracted to him, but not to the Fact that you KNOW he's going to go on forever. You'd rather have some uncertainty, and it would be much more stimulating to you if you never knew where it was going.
I'm a 23 year old woman and I have the same problem! It sounds like something easy to communicate with my husband about, but I can't ever get around to it. I finish very quickly and I find myself feeling guilty about that because I know I've heard stories where it is the man who finishes too quickly. I will be done, but he keeps going and going. I know exactly how you feel.
the answer is an open communication..
go talk to him..
but not in a way that he'll be ashamed and disappointed..
u know what i mean.
i wish i had your problem, i used too with my X. id fall asleep n wake up n he'd still b going at it. i felt the same as you then...but let me tell you something before you lose a good thing!!! most guys cant do what he does, believe me. i haven't been with a lot of men but most guys cant ****. you'd have to **** a lot of guys to find one that sexually satisfies you after him. thats my prob now, ive ben w/my babys daddy for 20 yrs and he cannot sexually satisfy me by penetration, i dont think he ever has. orally he's the bomb but a girl needs to get dick'd down every now n then. i've had a few flings looking for that sexual experience i used to have with my X, and found that their two pump chumps as well and im not gonna keep sleeping with other guys to find that one guy who can **** me longer than 10 min. i'd end up hurting the people i love the most, my family. so basically i dont have sex with him or anyone else for that matter, because basically its not worth it. its a very sad way to be and stay monogamous in a relationship. but better than being totally disappointed and unsatisfied every time you have sex with this person, so stop complaining. i do think u should talk to him about it because i used to feel the same way, so i understand. but the grass isn't always greener so know that as well next time you water your lawn, you could be in a serious drought someday like me......good luck!