How to split expenses with girlfriend who has children?

My inclination is to simply pay half, except for expenses related to the children. She should be okay with in view of the child support you mentioned on the other thread.

If you wanted to put a really sharp pencil to the situation, exclude child suport from the equation, and allocate expenses on the basis of income. That is, if you have 60% of the partnership's income, pay 60% of the expenses. Don't quibble over the children's share of the water bill, or whatever. Remember that we are excluding child support payments from her income.

Alternatively, you may essentially charge the children their fair share of rent, utilities, etc. If you go this route, it is no longer fair to exclude their support payments from income. > Adding the income adds the related expense.

Again, I would just go the 50 - 50 answer and not worry about it. If it's a big deal, you might consider another home.

Each situation is unique, but if we're going theoretical here, I'd say:

1. she pays for the extra two rooms - you wouldn't have them if it weren't for her kids

2. She pays somewhat more for food (this really depends on how old the kids are) but I'd split all the other bills 50-50

3. Her child support payments count as income

4. Don't forget, if she had to live on her own, she'd be paying 100%, so this is cheaper for her

5. More importantly, if you're moving in with a woman with kids, agree to the ground rules beforehand!

I can see your point, but maybe you shouldn't be moving in if this is a major issue for you. I assume by moving in you are considering a long term situation where you will be a surrogate parent for these children and you will be spending your time, talent and treasure on their behalf. If you feel the need to cut the breakdown of expenses down to how much power each person uses you may not be ready for the role of step parent. I'm not trying to be obnoxious here just pointing out that you are getting into a lot more than a lodging agreement. All that said, I suggest you pay 40% or what you are paying today, whichever is less.

She and the kids are a package deal. If you want her, you get the kids. So you split the actual living expenses 50-50. Of course, any of the expenses directly for the kids (clothes, school expenses, etc) should be hers to pay.

Thanks for all your input, they were all helpful someway or another. I guess I posted this because of how she made me feel the other day. She complained that I never offer to pay for any of the groceries since I've been at her apartment. I have my own house that I pay a mortgage and utilities, and she stayed with me while her kids were with their father, and they all stayed at my house until school started back up last year. So about 3 months. but have been staying with her about 5 months since she was diagnosed w breast cancer. Now that she is feeling better and no longer needs me to cook, and run her to appts, and help her with bathing when she had drainage tubes attached to her from the double masectomy, etc, I feel like I was just used til she got better. I loaned her money to help get her a car, got her an extra 1,000 for hers, and she is saving a whole lot more now on her monthly payment, and gas. I treat her to lunch and dinner, when we are out once in a while to let her know I appreciate her having me for dinner at her house. Also storing a lot of her things at my house because her apartment is too small. I mean its just me, I can't believe after all I've done for her she would even have the nerve to even say that. I paid for mostly everything when she stayed w me, she bought a few things for her kids, but I would a lot of times buy food and make dinner for them. Not to mention she had people donating dinner to her when she was out of work at least 3-4 days a week, and she gets $180 for food stamps a month. I do love her, I just don't know how she thinks. She said she wants to marry me, I just have mixed feelings on it. I also ask myself, if I was ever really sick, would she sacrifice her time to help me, not once did I ever make her feel like she was a burden, I would do it all over again. I'm sorry for rambling on.

You have your own house and you live in her apartment. You don't pay anything for groceries. How many more complicated details can we expect, after having already put time into our best answers?