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Fri 23 Jan, 2004 07:22 am
Best Lawyer Story Of The Year
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things.
Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim
against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued ... and won!
In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART ... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and
was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
Fantastic story, au. You can't out fox those insurance lawyers.
Sorry Au, but the story shows up at the Urban Legend sites.
LOL! True or not, that's a riot!
Quote:Sorry Au, but the story shows up at the Urban Legend sites.
I was going to mention that fact, Frank, but I guess I'm not as mean as you are.
Gus, is it an urban legend that you raise giant rats with yellow fangs?
I found out recently that Frank is Italian, now I'm considering checking that urban legend sight out.
Quote:Gus, is it an urban legend that you raise giant rats with yellow fangs?
Go to any urban legend site and you'll find no mention of untruths concerning Mr. Ratzenhofer and his menagerie.
Or rural legends sites, if you want to get picky.
will-o-the-wisp, methane, and mammoth rats. I think we ought to start our own swamp stories; urban legends; rural riots, Gus and Seal.
Even if this bogus tale were not listed on various urban legend sites, its implausibility is manifest on its face. No fire insurance policy will pay off when the insured is responsible for the loss. Not ever. NEVER.
So don't try this at home, kiddies. Any fires that you start yourself, you'll be footing the bill yourself.
Lawyer Jokes?
The best one I ever heard was the story about the man who walks into a tavern to find a gorgeous lady sitting at the bar. He sits next to her and asks her if he can buy her a drink. She faces him and says:
I'll screw anyone anytime anywhere and have no regrets later.
The man says:
"Wow! What law firm do you work for????
Okay, devil takes a meeting with this young lawyer.
Devil says, "I'll make you a senior partner. Right now. Today." Young lawyer says, "What do I have to do?" Devil says, "I want your immortal soul. <pause> And also, the immortal souls of everyone in your family." The young lawyer stops and thinks, and he eyes the devil something fierce. Then the lawyer says, "What's the catch?"
I couldn't have been any more than maybe 10 or 11 years old the first time I heard that cigar story. My father used to tell it, never pretending that the story was anything but a joke. (I'm 65 now.)
There are actually less than seven genuine lawyer jokes. The rest of what you hear are more or less humorous renditions of events in the lives of former clients.
I also like this one ...
An attorney, cross-examining the local coroner, queried, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"
"No," the coroner replied.
"Well, then, did you listen for a heart beat?"
The coroner answered, "No."
"Did you check for respiration? Breathing?", asked the attorney.
Again the coroner replied, "No."
"Ah," the attorney said, "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
The coroner rolled his eyes, and shot back "Counselor, at the time I signed the death certificate the man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I can see your point. For all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."
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