JPB, we are reading each others mind.
I was thinking the same thing, but had to leave the house, so wouldn't have had time to compose a post.
While it wasn't the first thing that popped out at me, the " I mean, if this happened with his ex, I would want to know." prevades the entire post.
WHY would you want to know if your bf was having a "chin up" conversation with someone? So you can then start asking questions like why? Perhaps putting him on the defensive starting an agrument, etc. etc.? Where do you draw the line on what you feel you need to share with him, or him with you?
Your fears of "what if he finds out?" is one more useless thing to worry about. If he does realize you had a conversation, all it deserves is a "yes, we spoke"
If he doesn't like it, a simple "Sorry you don't like it, but it already happened" and then moving on is all that's necessary.
Sharing is good, but you don't own each other.
You don't know he would want to know this, and even if he did, that puts you under no obligation. You didn't cheat on him, had no intention to, so chill out.
In the words of Khalil Gibran in The Prophet...
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.