my husband watches porn with out me .
I watch porn with out him.
It. is. no. issue.
He is not cheating on me, he is not stepping out on me and is not sleeping with another person. I have no problems with porn, sexuality or the fact that he ( and I ) will find other people sexually attractive. Just because we see someone naked does not mean that we are 'hurting' each other.
We have defined how we want our marriage to be. No physical cheating. Porn? sure. No problem. Porn can turn us both on and lead to great sex between us, or sexual release for the other person if we are not aroused at the same time or around each other at the same time. Sex is not a bad thing. Sexual release is not a bad thing.
If it is wrong between YOU and YOUR wife then that is ok. That is what YOU TWO agree to and abide by to ensure the other persons happiness in the marriage.
what my husband and I agree too is happy for us, belongs to only us and is not something I would ever impose on anyone else.
But there are morals that it is right no matter what. Such as rape, killing, stealing.
I agree. Those three things are things that no one should do.
There are no 'moral standards' for everyone when it comes to porn and to pull rape and murder into the discussion of porn is really odd. i will not join you on that track of discussion. There are many outside examples of people doing things wrong in extreme ways to every situation in the world. We are not discussing those, we are discussing why your friend got angry at you for calling him 'immoral' for watching porn and frankly there are a lot of people who would disagree with you.
As I said before, I can understand why you are upset with him if he is ignoring his other responsibilities in favor of watching porn. He could be damaging his marriage, hurting his wife who is obviously a friend of yours too and that should never happen. That is a sign of a problem.
But I do not believe the problem is with people being naked. I think that is YOUR issue and that you may be actually turned on at the idea and that makes you angry because you think you should NOT be turned on by other people, by nudity or viewing sex there for you are lashing out at him for doing something you may well enjoy too. Again... remember... this 'moral' is yours alone.. not his and it is not good to impose that and judge your friend based on something as simple as that. If he is ignoring his issues and his responsibilities ( like not getting work) then oh yeah ! Speak up! grab his attention. remind him he has responsibilities to his wife and family, but dont judge him or hate him simply because he enjoys sexual content. Sex. is. not. bad.
(* the term husband here is used a bit loosely.. we are not yet married by the way
and marriage will not change this issue. This is who we are and how we work together. I believe that these issues should always be discussed and worked out at the start of a relationship and not left to 'silent assumption' )